Okay so… The following is something that has been said to me a couple years ago. Must have been 2016 or 2017. It stayed with me. The language is crude, but if you read between the lines, you may understand why this is one of my favourite quotes. Now, mind you, this is not a quote by Anaïs Nin or Dylan Thomas or Jim Morrison or a stoic poet… No, this is a no-name. I shared it before and caught some flak for it… Ah well… Here goes:
As long as there is cum in my balls and a mind in my brain, I will never forget you.
To be honest, I like this. And because it is real, I am probably not interested if anyone thinks that I deserve more or better or…
There is not much on my Instagram account, but I seem to be looking for a way to get somewhere. Or maybe, I am appreciating my journey and the road I am traveling? Either way, there are too many photos of streets and roads.
Feel free to follow me there… I have moments when I share a lot and others when I delete more. As so often, it used to be about music, there were some LP (vinyl) pics, but not many anymore. There are not too many pics of me… hehe, I do delete most of the pics of myself, because I don’t like to see myself all the time, am I just revealing again that I am weirder than anticipated?
Ah well… *hugs*
Does this qualify as Bloganuary #19? Write about something mysterious? I will pretend it does. I mean, it sounds vain and conceited when I say it myself, but countless times people called me mysterious… I am anything but, but maybe others see things in me that I don’t.
Funny that this question comes up today. Yesterday, someone held a monologue for me, explaining why I absolutely have to read Harry Potter, mainly books 5-7. And that’s why they are next on my list.
I have to say, I am not a fantasy fan. But that person is and honestly the passion with which the monologue was delivered left me quite curious. There you have it. Harry Potter is next on my reading list. And maybe I’ll even read it. Haha.
Ah… I thought about this one before and the only answer I ever had was: teleportation.
Yup… There are people all around the world that I would like to meet, but traveling is expensive and I am not the biggest fan of planes either. Yes, teleportation would be rather awesome.
Beam me up!
Come to think about it. How about invisible teleportation? Hmmm
That song though, right? HIM – join me (in death). I only ever share that song on January 17th.
I am quite passionate about second chances. This applies in every area of life. Maybe it comes with my job, or maybe it is because I am an Aquarius and we are said to be humanitarians.
Our society is quick to cast people out. Instead of helping them (which is often cheaper in the long run) they are rejected and abandoned. A vicious circle begins and without help or compassion from others, it is hard to get back on one’s feet.
Everyone deserves a second chance, and a third and a fourth too.
If I can help, I do. It’s not always good for me, sometimes I give so much that I become empty and burnt out – but it is always worth it.
So yeah, I am passionate about being compassionate, gentle, kind, nonjudgmental, about helping, offering support, and giving as many chances as are needed.
What is a life lesson you feel everyone can benefit from learning?
Is it a life lesson, really?
Be kind. Everyone is struggling from time to time in their own way.
Another?
Don’t live with regrets. Every choice you made and every decision you took is the right one at that precise moment. Sometimes the choice we have is between bad and worse, but it is there. And even the smallest things can make a big change. Don’t live with regrets. They make you miserable, because in the end, the things we regret are things we cannot change anymore.
Still not enough?
Even the worst parts of our lives taught us something and made us move forward.
Enough Cathy-wisdom for an early Saturday morning.
I actually wanted to skip this one. Over the years, I wrote so much about myself and my struggles and challenges that I am tired of the topic. And you are probably too. I don’t know. Does it matter? I mean, it’s depressing and not uplifting.
There was a time when I wrote all this stuff to get a reaction. I wanted people to care and maybe I even wanted some pity or praise. I did not do it on purpose, but in hindsight, even if I didn’t do it consciously, I did it.
My life has been paved with challenges. From being emotionally and mentally abused as a child, to depression and ADHD as an adult, I faced many challenges.
Often, every new day is a challenge. Getting up. Taking a shower. Going to work. Doing laundry. Preparing dinner. Talking. Sleeping. Breathing. Existing. Being. Those things are challenging every day. And I overcome them almost every day too. Almost.
But you know what? Many people feel that way. There is never anything new under this sun. And even though emotions might be new to us, they have been felt by other people before.
None of us is special. Every one of us is special. None of us is unique. Every one of us is unique.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how big or small the challenges are that you are dealing with; the only thing that matters is that you face them, and try your best to come out on the other side with as least damage as possible.
Communication and my language skills. It is 1 pm where I am and already, I spoke French with the mailman, German with a co-worker (on my day off!), English with my closest friend, and Luxembourgish with my kids. Obviously, I need these 4 languages daily, but I am well aware that not everyone has access to learn or use foreign languages. That said, here in Luxembourg, being fluent in at least 2 or 3 is standard.
Quiet me-time. Oh, that sounds selfish and ungrateful. But I worked a lot these last weeks, without any real time to recover. Today is the first time in weeks that I am on my own, without any plans. As it is, I am still in bed, and I am very happy about that.
Today, I am grateful for yesterday’s smiles and yesterday’s memories
Creativity. My head is buzzing with ideas to write new stuff. I am not sure if I can put it on paper (or a screen), but the ideas are definitely there.
Music – that’s a no-brainer. Always, always grateful for music and musicians.
At work and in my private life, people tend to assume that I am relaxed and unfazed. As if nothing could disturb my calm or patience. Yes, I have been told that I exude calm and confidence.
If they only knew that I need to choose every word I say carefully and that inside, I am a bundle of nervous energy. I doubt myself all the time and I overthink everything I say or do or will say or do in the future.
But, those doubts also make me great at work. I am rigorous and thorough. I don’t leave messes for others to clean up and assume my responsibilities. All that, but calm, patient, and relaxed, I am not.
Edited to add something else people wrongly assume about me:
Apparently, I come across as distant here on the blog, like someone who does not want to engage. That’s wrong. I love interacting. If you take a chance to comment, I will reply. Hehe
I have a writing voice that I believe to be not so common. My vocabulary is rather simple. There are a few reasons for that: 1) English is not my native language 2) I like it that way because I believe that simple and relatable vocabulary has more impact than complicated words.
My stories and poems are filled (overflowing?) with emotions. And I like to believe that these emotions are palpable to the readers. But that’s not for me to judge.
Most of my writing is impulsive, unedited and that’s why it is also a bit raw and unpolished. That’s okay with me. And quite frankly, not many people complain about it. And those who do tell me that I could be a much better writer if I showed some ambition. Maybe they are right. Maybe they are not.
So yes… I think, if you read my short stories, my voice is recognisable. Or maybe that is just the sleep-deprived overconfidence talking and in truth I simply wrote the same story over and over again.
My sense of humour is a bit inappropriate, I must admit. I laugh a lot and have a quick wit. Something that never fails to make me laugh are intelligent puns. Dry and black humour too, as well as sarcasm.
But, do not ask me to tell a joke. I always, and I mean always, mess it up. Then again, that will make you laugh; so maybe, do. (Really, please don’t!)
PS… I could have written about my kids… But there is a difference between happiness and laughing.
I don’t like this question. I don’t have an answer. I mean, many people inspire me daily in one way or another. But no one inspired me to become who I am and who I am looking up to. There is one person who taught me a lot about working with toddlers. But she does not inspire any other area of my life.
That sounds awful, I know. But there are reasons for not being inspired by people.
I always had to fight for everything. I always had to do everything on my own and without support. And I never had anyone who suggested I try this or that to make life easier. I am okay with that. Sometimes, it is a bit lonely to live that way, but it is okay. As I got older, I did not allow anyone to inspire my life anymore. I did not allow myself to look for guidance.
As recently as two weeks ago, I felt real support during a hard and trying time for the first time in my life. I fought it a bit, but they insisted to be there; to guide me – and in the end, I let them. But it was not easy, and still, I wouldn’t call it inspiring. It was just the first time that someone showed up and stayed there until the grief was over.
But in the end, I also admit that music is a big inspiration for my writing – not for my life, but my poetry and short stories.
Her Name is Calla – Maw. (Only 25k views in 10 years?! This was one underrated band!!)
reflections of an unquiet mind 