A couple of months ago, I sent Ollie a copy of my novel Heart of Stone. He asked if I was interested in answering a couple of questions and I agreed. Here are the questions and my replies. Enjoy. What was the genesis of the novel? When did you first get the idea for it? […]
Heart of Stone – Interview
A repost as a reminder that my novel is available for purchase; maybe this little interview makes you curious about it. 🙂
I found this one on Twitter when I was looking for a different picture. This was written around 2015. I had strong words back then, but things happened in 2015, and I was left forever changed…
I was looking for this pic, by the way:
That picture is from about 4 years ago. We had moved house, and few boxes were left to move. I put shoeboxes filled with CDs in a bigger box and when I stepped on the stairs, the bottom gave out and one third of my collection flew down the stairs. I cried. I laughed. I was near hysterical. Oh, and I was stuck at the top of the stairs. My son stood downstairs and had no idea what to say and what to do. After a while, we went in search of a new box, put the jewel cases of the CDs back together – (many broke and I am still mad about that. I take such good care of my collection but so many cases are broken because of that incident.) and got on with our move… It was not a fun evening… But now, years later, I can laugh about it.
I was too visible online tonight. I posted on IG and here… See you tomorrow. xx
You can now find me on Goodreads. It was not easy to set it up. I know many authors are on there, but I find it not to be intuitive at all – for authors anyway. There are social media buttons on this very site too.
It would be kind of you to leave some kind of review… It doesn’t have to be written word, stars are nice too. ✨
So… If you liked my poetry, short stories, or/and my novel, you know what to do.
Thank you very much.
Taking a page out of Aaron’s blog –> http://confusingmiddle.com and following Paul’s –> captainsspeech.com recent share your blog event, I decided to share some facts about me. Questions are allowed and will be answered. So… fasten your seatbelts, let’s begin this Tuesday with a post about mememememe.
For the third year in a row, Paul is organising an event on his blog called “share your blog”. I’ll start with sharing where it’s all happening… https://captainsspeech.wordpress.com/ Take a look. Paul is a very talented and interesting one.
Participating is easy:
You can do that here or on Paul’s site.
From personal experience, I can tell you that last year’s “share your blog” resulted in a surge of visitors. Some stayed and some only came by for the free drinks and food, but that’s okay. But as Paul points out in his post, it motivates to share some good content for the newbies on your page. At least it worked for me.
But, who am I? Well… I am an 37 year old woman, mother of three kids. I work part-time with babies and toddlers, and I am also a published author. I published four books so far: two poetry collections, one novel, and an anthology of short stories. Currently, I am struggling with on-going shoulder issues and constant pain, with a bit of luck it should be sorted this year. I said the same last year, but I am an optimistic pessimist. Most of my writing is romantic in a way and 90% is fiction. I am a right music nut and support talent in any genre, that’s why I share so much music on my blog. Hopefully you don’t know the songs and find new favourites. I can be a bit weird some times. I over-share which can be tiring, but it is a part of me. I believe in kindness and in gratitude. I am deeply empathetic which is not always easy for me, and I am quite impulsive too. (And I took a Myers-Briggs test, I am an INFP)
I invite you to come with me on this journey. Another extraordinary year is in front of us…
So, silent ones and outspoken ones, take a moment to share your blog with a comment here.
Dare to be seen!
Lots of love from your favourite Luxembourgish writer (and from me too!)
This is the last of my stock, if you are interested in buying and owning a personalised copy of one of my books, now is the time. I ship worldwide. Payment via PayPal.
Heart of Stone – novel, 4 copies left (19€/$22,50)
Unquiet Minds – poetry, 3 copies left (12€/$14)
Drowning in a Sea of Voices – poetry, 2 copies left 10€/$12)
Every word in these books was written by myself, every cover picture was taken and edited by myself too. Once my stock is gone, it is gone and the only way of purchasing these books is through Amazon. There are copies in Australia, Brazil, Canada, US, UK, Sweden, South Africa, India, Germany, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Romania, Ukraine… Join the readers all around the globe.
Comment for more information. 😉
Have a nice weekend xx
During the last year, I often complained about shoulder aches. I had several different treatments, medicines, massages, dry needling, acupuncture, subacromial injections in different places… Nothing relieved the pain for more than one week. Today, I had another injection. This time, right into the joint and under the acromion. And while the other injections were almost okay, this time, I am in agony. I hurts and I don’t know how to sit or to lie down to make it better. I am not allowed to take pain meds yet, because the injection was made of corticosteroids and anesthetics – they need to wear off a bit first. This sucks. It honestly does. My right arm is of no use right now, because even typing on the phone pulls at the tendons in the shoulder – something you don’t notice when everything is okay.
My doc said several times that surgery would be inevitable, but as long as we can try to repair or relieve the damage and pain with injections, he doesn’t want to do surgery – even less in times like these. But at the same time, this is the last chance, the last try. And I just want to remember how it is to be pain-free for more than one week. Oh, I am whining, and I shouldn’t. But yes, I should. This sucks. And I don’t know how to sit still and how to neglect my chores at home. But I have to. I guess the injection did not take the last time because I didn’t delegate my work and because I chose to drive to the Netherlands (which I don’t regret in any way – no, it helped me grow in many ways… and the people I met there too – I will not forget and will always be there if I am needed.) Right now, though, I was taken out of work for almost two weeks, and I need to find a way to behave myself and take it easy.
Send music 😁 I am still waiting for 6 (!) vinyl records… Maybe some will come during my time off work.
*hugs*
Everything, really everything you read on this blog is written impulsively, without a filter. The words and thoughts you read are the words and thoughts of that particular moment, and they can change in a heartbeat. Please keep that in mind. Also, I often write about my mental health issues; reading about that can be worrisome, triggering, exhausting. It all comes down to one thing: I am most afraid to be left behind/abandoned/rejected, and my overthinking mind suggests that everyone just leaves me for various reasons. It’s not true, I rationally know that, but my emotions tell a different story. It doesn’t really matter, but it really matters. Impulsive bits of my reality during that exact mindset – that’s what you get to read on this blog. And music. Lots and lots of different music.
A couple of months ago, I sent Ollie a copy of my novel Heart of Stone. He asked if I was interested in answering a couple of questions and I agreed. Here are the questions and my replies. Enjoy.
What was the genesis of the novel? When did you first get the idea for it?
The first idea for this novel came to me in 2013. I had the idea for Emerson Heart on my mind for a long while. The first story I ever wrote with original characters, that weren’t fanfiction, was about a character not unlike Emerson, but far less conflicted. I kept having ideas for scenes and wrote many small notes in my journals. I had similar ideas for Riley Stone, but at first these two characters were not meant to be together in the same book.
How long did it take you to write it?
The first draft took about three months. Then I let it go and turned to a different project, but the characters kept coming back to me at the most inopportune moments and I knew they needed more attention. The file was always running in the back on my laptop. I added a bit here, a sentence there. But I never worked on it with any urgency. During lockdown, I decided that I wanted to send this novel out into the world. So, from the first draft to the publication, it took almost 7 years in the end.
What is your writing routine generally like?
Generally, I put my headphones on and choose music that doesn’t silence my mind. A cup of coffee – if I write in the morning, or an alcoholic drink – if I write in the evening, and then I just let the words flow. I am not one who plans my novels in the beginning. The plan only happens around halfway through when I don’t want to miss any details or loose ends. I also take many notes during the day about sudden ideas or sentences I want to use.
Did it change for this novel or did it stay the same?
For the final draft the routine changed since I only wrote and worked on it while my kids did their homeschooling. They had schedules and I adapted to them. I guess that is why it all happened so fast in the end.
How did you create the two main characters, Emerson Heart and Riley Stone?
As I mentioned, the first idea of Emerson is based off an older character. In the first draft, he didn’t have the anxiety attacks that became a big part of his character. The inspiration for that came after I saw a documentary on TV about a young man who was suffering from these attacks. I also like to give my characters something of myself – I had my first anxiety attack in 2016. It all came together naturally. Riley was supposed to be in stark contrast to Emerson at first. A bit of a cliché. But I was not happy with shallow Riley and I gave him a back story and insecurities of his own. He too has some characteristics of myself. I like my characters to be real and relatable.
The names Heart and Stone came from a picture I took a long while ago – it became the cover of the novel in the end.
Are they based on anyone you know? (Do you have a favourite between them two?)
Emerson and Riley aren’t based on anyone I know and Emerson is not based on any known musician either. They are creations of my imagination. I have a favourite indeed. Riley. Strong and stoic on the outside, fragile and vulnerable on the inside.
Mental health is a big theme in the novel. Panic attacks, for example, are described quite visibly. How important was it for you to explore this theme?
For me, it was important to draw a real picture of the anxiety attacks. They are not just there one moment and forgotten the next, they creep up and have some kind of aftermath. Of course, every anxiety attack feels different for every person, but to me, it feels as if mental illnesses are romanticized too often on TV or in books. I needed to show the real side of them and how utterly helpless one feels in those moments. I did a lot of research and also – once again, took some of my own experiences and weaved them into Emerson’s attacks.
Stone Island, the novel’s main setting, seems like a dream paradise. Did you base it on any place you visited?
Unfortunately, Stone Island only exists in my fantasy. Very vividly though. The image of the mansion overlooking the ocean came to me early on.
If you could spend a day on Stone Island, what would you love to do there?
I would go to the beach and enjoy the waves and the salty sea on my skin. Then, I would return to the mansion and sit outside with a little fire, watching the sunset. Just relaxing and enjoying the serenity of the island.
Another big theme of the novel is same sex love. What drove you to explore this type of relationship?
I first started writing fanfiction for a same-sex couple – Kevin and Scotty from the TV show Brothers & Sisters. I got stuck in the genre of same-sex couples and never felt the need to explore outside that genre. But it felt important to me to show two males who are in love. I read so many novels in this genre that are filled to the brim with cringe-worthy clichés. Now, I don’t claim to be the best writer there is, but I am always trying to keep it real and relatable. There is never a doubt that the main characters are men, and although they are very different from one another, I feel that they are equals, too. There is not one victim and one saviour. They are both victims and they are both saviours.
From the whole process of writing and publishing the novel, is there anything you would have done differently if you could go back in time?
I am not sure. I was left hanging from different beta-readers, quite disappointing actually, and it led to me doing everything all on my own. I guess, having someone else read over the manuscript and making the writer aware of mistakes or illogical sentences or paragraphs is quite helpful. I would insist on finding help nowadays. Also, I am much more confident in my writing, I would probably approach a publishing house earlier on.
Are you working on any new writing projects?
I am not writing much fiction at all these days. After writing and finishing Stone, I felt as if my creativity had dried up. But who knows what happens in the future. Inspiration comes from different places all the time.
Although, I am thinking about publishing a collection with my short stories. And by the end of next year (2021), a new poetry collection will probably see the light of day too.
Do you think you will ever revisit these characters?
I am thinking about Emerson and Riley a lot, to be honest, but I will probably not revisit the characters. There won’t be a sequel.
The questions were provided by Ollie, visit his blog here: https://picosgemeos.livejournal.com/ and follow him on Twitter and Instagram
Top review on Amazon for Heart of Stone from Ben:
If you are interested in purchasing a copy of Heart of Stone, it is available worldwide as ebook and paperback on Amazon, or you can get in touch with me and I will send you a signed copy. Also, consider using the shop on this site. You can pay with Paypal, making it easy for you and for me.
Cathy
Tonight, news came that the British band Anathema decided to go on an indefinite hiatus (aka split up) after the challenging year that 2020 was.
I admit it makes me sad. The band and their music mean/meant a lot to me.
I was young, barely 16 years old, when I heard my first Anathema song. It was on the free CD Rom that came with a music magazine; the magazine was called “UP”. The first listen of the CD was done in passing and without much interest, but something – a line in the song, made my ears perk up, and I listened again from the beginning and watched the video. Again. And again. On repeat for days.
Later I learned from the small article in the magazine that it was a promo shot for the band’s upcoming album “Judgement” released in 1999.
Imagine young and excited Cathy practically running to her trusted record dealer to buy the entire back catalog, only to be disappointed to find out that the store only had one album in stock. I had no idea that Anathema had been around for years and that their music had evolved considerably in those years too. No one I knew had ever heard of this band. And I was sure that I had discovered a gem. Little did I know that this band and their music would be a soothing and comforting companion for decades.
The first album I finally bought was called “Alternative 4”. It had been released in 1998, and the melancholy gripped me right away. But there was more to it; there were guitar riffs, piano, lyrics… I had never heard anything that touched me in that way. True, I was only fifteen, but all of a sudden, I felt a positive intensity that had not been there before. And I liked that feeling very much.
I was hooked on the music. I didn’t know nor cared about the people making the music. But I cared about the lyrics that touched me right in the feels. Mind you, this was before everyone had access to the internet. My knowledge came from expensive music magazine with monthly issues. I was not fangirling over any of the band’s members. It was just the music. I could not grasp half of the emotions that were sung about yet, but the other half were very familiar.
From there on out, Anathema had a song for every feeling; they had lyrics that reflected my emotions. I felt understood; I felt home. And wow, was that a powerful feeling for a young starving mind as mine. Coming from a broken home, including emotional neglect and abuse, these songs felt like a warming and welcoming blanket. Very far removed from the angry music I had listened to before.
In the year 2000, I visited Paris for the first time, and of course, we had to visit the Virgin Mega Store. It was heaven on earth. I was in paradise. It was where I bought the older Anathema albums. Very different from what I knew by then: still melodic, still meaningful lyrics, but growling, screaming vocals. Not really my cup of tea. But also, it showed me that progress is good. Change is good. And trying and daring to go in a different direction than every one expected seemed possible for the first time ever.
“Sunset of Age” from the album “A Silent Enigma” (1995)
And the band kept releasing fantastic album after fantastic album. Their creative well did not dry up. Year after year, they released songs and albums that became classics in their own right. And even when their record company dropped merged with a different label and decided to drop some of the smaller bands and artists, they continued to create and breathe music.
Between the albums “A natural disaster” (2003) and “We’re here because we’re here” (2010), seven almost silent years passed; at least for me, who was not interested in any band drama and still chose to not buy into any false rumours read on the almighty internet. In 2008, a compilation with new versions of old songs was released: “Hindsight”. It made old songs appear new and showcased the fact that there was not one weak song.
The silent period was a period of change, and the band toured a lot and all over the world. The quality of their playing benefitted of it, definitely. Or so I personally believe.
In 2012, the masterpiece “Weather Systems” was released. I squealed when I noticed that Anathema would tour Luxembourg with this album. For me, they reached their creative peak with this one. Maybe it is also their most commercially accessible album, even if the style is more progressive. With the help of a new producer who pushed the band to step even further out of their comfort zone, an exceptional record was made. It opened the doors to a new generation of fans.
A live album followed. “Universal”. It’s not a perfect album by far, the first minutes are filled with little slips, and the nervousness of the band is palpable. But it is also one of the few live albums that let me feel the energy even though I was not there in Bulgaria. The songs the fans know and love were arrange with a classic orchestra. Strings added an extra special atmosphere to the songs. An intense album indeed.
The sound evolved further. More electronic elements found their way into the music of Anathema. On the album “Distant Satellites” (2014), other new classics can be found. The album in its entirety, did not appeal to me, but several songs and their stories caught me off guard too. And that’s all one can ask for.
“Anathema” is a song for and about the band; at the same time, it is very universal too.
In 2014, I saw the band for the second time. It was at that gig that I planned my memorable trip to Brussels to see Her Name is Calla. So many memories are related to Anathema and their music. They are intensely attached to my life.
But when they release their 2017 album “The Optimist,” they kind of lost me. Maybe I had grown? Maybe too much happened. The band claimed this album to be their best yet. A sequel of sorts to the 2001 album “A Fine Day to Exit”. The album did not really grab me. I wrote a (positive) review about it, it can be found on this very blog too. And yet, I couldn’t pass on the opportunity to see Anathema live again. This time, I went all by myself. I wrote a post about that gig. I was in the middle of a depressive episode; maybe that played an essential part in how I perceived that night too.
In 2014/2015, Daniel Cavanagh, founding member, songwriter/multi-instrumentalist of Anathema, launched a crowdfunding campaign for a solo album. It consisted of cover versions that held memories and meaning for the artist, hence the name “Memory and Meaning”. Of course, I supported one of the people who influenced most of my life. I ordered a handwritten lyric sheet for the song “Everything”.
It is framed and has a special place in my home. A funny one too: it hangs on the wall of my guest bathroom.
As a surprise, the father of my kids ordered a personalised song that was sung just for me. It was “Forgotten Hopes”. And although it is not the best and it sounds as if he was sitting in a tank, I like the personal dedication. I sent an email to thank him for the note written in red on the lyric sheet, and wouldn’t you know, he replied in a kind way. Bless him.
A long post just to say that I am sad today. I can’t imagine a musical world without Anathema in it. And I seriously hope that every member of the band will find happiness, love, (mental) health, hope, and new ways to be creative. I am sure a decision like this was not made lightly and impulsively. And who knows, maybe they will reunite in a couple of years. Every member of the band has music in their veins, and I am convinced that there is more to come.
Thank you, Anathema, for decades of making me feel understood and at home.
I owe a lot to this band. Without them, I would not be a poet; without them, half of my poems would never have been written. Without them, their dedication and passion, I would not be the person I am right now.
Forever grateful,
Cathy
This is actually a sentiment I don’t share too often, but I am okay. I am well. Close to happy.
I don’t sleep well or a lot these days, I keep having these vivid dreams that wake me up often. And I keep tossing and turning until the sheets are knotted around my legs – as if it was trying to tie me to the bed.
In the mornings, I wake up early and don’t feel rested at all. But apart from yesterday and this afternoon, I am in an okay mood. I am not growling and biting off heads, I just go about my business.
My creative writing is suffering a great deal, and I am focussing on listening to music and reading. But I am not inspired to wrap anything into a poem or a short story. It is as if my mind decided that it is okay to just exist for a moment without taking control or doing stuff.
And it feels as if I am more balanced right now—just a tiny bit.
I still wish that I was invisible and yet, that I would like to be seen. I don’t like attention, and I value my privacy, and at the same time, I am bleeding onto pages in a book and screens in your hands. Which again, is okay.
I evolved a lot these last weeks. Thank you to everyone who was a tiny part of these changing times.
xx
I first shared about my intention to publish my novel early this year, but a couple of setbacks made me drop my imaginary deadline.
Then last week, I didn’t have to go to work because there was no work for me left to be done… I was angry. Very much so. I felt useless and unneeded – and those are things similar to rejection – I can’t deal with them. I had to do something, and I dove into my manuscript for Heart of Stone. There was still a lot of work to do, and I did it. It took many hours, but in the end, I got it done, and I think/I hope there aren’t any typos left.
Upload, publish done.
That was the easy part. The cover had been done long before – I designed it myself, with a picture I took myself too. The picture inspired the title of the book.
The hard part was sharing with the world that I had written a novel that is almost 300 pages long. (291 pages of story). But, with a little shove and a lot of convincing, I did it. I shared on Instagram, on Twitter, and on FB. FB is the scariest because there is only family and people I really really really like. Their opinion matters.
And wouldn’t you know? They didn’t even ask about a synopsis, they simply asked where to buy the book. They will be surprised to read an English same-sex romantic novel. But, that they offered some support, albeit driven by curiosity, that means the world to me.
By now, Heart of Stone is available as paperback and ebook on Amazon worldwide. Mid-August, I will receive 10 copies that I can share and send around the world. One is already spoken for. 9 are left.
Heart of Stone – paperback version on amazon.com
Heart of Stone – kindle version on amazon.com
(Clicking the links will lead you to amazon.com – you will leave this site.)
I am proud of this achievement. It took me a while to come to terms with it, but yes, I did it. The first copy of the book went to the UK, to North Wales. That man bought his copy before I even told the masses that my book existed, and before I had the chance to correct the final typos. His copy of Heart of Stone is truly unique. And I will never forget his generosity and kindness.
Now, I will have to see if I can come up with a next book. There is only one older story of mine that deserves to be made into a paperback, but I am not sure if it will ever happen. Every Second, Forever. It is about a man who catches HIV and his journey through life, living with the virus. But, that book was written even before Heart of Stone, and therefore it is out of date. We’ll see what will happen.
Heart of Stone – it is out now, ready for your eyes. It will hit you right in the feels, I promise.
❤
This is a screenshot of today’s blog. As you can see, there is something new in the right corner. I am in the process of having my first novel printed. Ten copies to start, and then we will see how it goes. First come, first served. Pre-orders are open now. Shipping will follow mid-August.
This is quite exciting, and I am looking forward to holding my book in my hands, and I am looking forward to hear thoughts about it too.
Wish me luck.
🙂
My stock is coming to an end and I decided to give away the last copies of my poetry collections. There were 5 of each this morning when I made the announcement on Twitter and Instagram. 3 sets are left right now. They are limited editions, meaning there are typos and minor formatting errors left, they are not in the version you can buy on Amazon. Every book comes signed and with a small handwritten note. I ship out worldwide*. Get in touch if you are interested in owning poetry written by a Luxembourgish poet.
*There are copies of my books all over the world:
Brazil 🇧🇷
US 🇺🇸
UK 🇬🇧
Wales 🏴
Ireland 🇮🇪
Canada 🇨🇦
Australia 🇦🇺
New Zealand 🇳🇿
South Africa 🇿🇦
Germany 🇩🇪
France 🇫🇷
Belgium 🇧🇪
Netherlands 🇳🇱
Luxembourg 🇱🇺
And the handful of books I sold via Amazon.
Be a part of this first-ever Giveaway!
Get in touch by writing a comment here or by sending an email to catherine.micqu@gmail.com
First come, first served. Or as we say in Luxembourg: Deen éischten ass fir.
Inspired by the A to Z challenge, I will post an A to Z of albums I own, and I have an extensive record collection. I will go with the flow and share the first that comes to my mind. The first time I noticed that I can complete an A to Z with my CD collection was when I moved houses in December 2017. There will follow many different genres of music and at one time in my life, I listened to it. I would love some feedback about this list. Do you know the albums? The songs? Do you like them? Are there surprises? Obvious albums or songs?
*****
Agent Fresco – a long time listening
*****
Bon Jovi – keep the faith
*****
Coldplay – a rush of b-sides to the head
*****
Depeche Mode – songs of faith and devotion
*****
East 17 – steam
*****
Fink – Perfect Darkness
*****
Gazpacho – night
*****
Her Name is Calla – the quiet lamb
*****
INVSN – INVSN
*****
John Frusciante with Josh Klinghoffer – Inside of Emptiness
*****
Kings of Leon – Only by the Night
*****
Long Distance Calling – Avoid the Light
*****
Matthew Ryan – May Day
*****
Nina Simone – finest hour
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dDBrpCL5Qk
*****
Olafur Arnalds – For Now I Am Winter
*****
Pink Floyd – the Division Bell
*****
Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf
*****
Radiohead – OK Computer OKNotOK
*****
Serj Tankian – Elect the Dead
*****
The Twilight Sad – Forget the Night Ahead
*****
U2 – Joshua Tree
*****
Veils (the) – the runway found
*****
Woven Hand – Woven Hand
*****
Xenia Rubinos – Magic Trix
*****
Yuck – Yuck
*****
Zazie (French singer) – totem
*****
I added songs today. The songs appear on the mentioned albums. None of the links or songs are mine. I bought the albums and have their physical copies on my shelves, but the shared links belong to the respective owners.
Do you have music to complete an AtoZ in your collection? Care to share? ❤
reflections of an unquiet mind 