Facts about me

Taking a page out of Aaron’s blog –> http://confusingmiddle.com and following Paul’s –> captainsspeech.com recent share your blog event, I decided to share some facts about me. Questions are allowed and will be answered. So… fasten your seatbelts, let’s begin this Tuesday with a post about mememememe.

  1. I am a woman
  2. My birthday is in February (8th)
  3. It makes me an Aquarius
  4. I am also an INFP which stands for “introversion, intuition, feeling, perception” and is one of 16 personality types according to Myers-Briggs
  5. I write a lot. Every day. Everything that is not personal and about me is fiction.
  6. I am diagnosed bi-polar and my moods or episodes can sometimes be palpable in my posts
  7. I love music of many genres and like to share things that make me happy – music
  8. I was born and raised in Luxembourg – which is a very small but beautiful country in Europe
  9. i am fluent in four languages and always interested in picking up bits of new ones
  10. some consider me as being odd
  11. at work, I am often seen as laid-back and calm/quiet. That’s just a facade. There is a storm on the inside
  12. I work with babies and toddlers
  13. The only other dream-job I ever had was in drug-prevention, apart from that, I always wanted to work with little kids
  14. right now, I am on extensive sick leave because I have an issue with my shoulder. It should have been resolved a year ago, but it seems as if no one wants to perform a surgery and it is better to be sent from test to test anyway *sarcasm*
  15. I am deeply empathetic, which can be a course. I pick up on moods and sometimes internalise the pain of others – my writing benefits from that, my mental health doesn’t
  16. I am a good cook because I like spoiling people who come to my house
  17. did I mention that I will be 38 this year? Not a nice number. I wonder if it is time to grow up.
  18. I did not gain or lose any weight this year, even if it looks like it on my face. but my hair turns grey and greyer
  19. blame it on my three kids (15,12,10). I love them to bits and would do anything for them
  20. My son will be 16 next week
  21. my childhood was quite rough with emotional blackmail, neglect, and abuse and I had to do things for my mom no child should do for their parent at the age of 6. It influenced my entire life and I hope that I am a better parent to my kids.
  22. when i get very very overwhelmed, I fall back into old patterns and get the urge to cut my skin. I did that as a teenager, then stopped – without help for a decade. Since 2012 it happens again sporadically. (once in 2020)
  23. one of my biggest fears is being rejected and abandoned. that’s why it hurts so much when people become close and start ghosting me – which happens on occasion too
  24. I am a sensual woman and like to write sensual short stories that border on erotica
  25. most of my online acquaintances are male
  26. most of my real-life friends are male
  27. I lost a friend because of that – she counted my followers on Twitter and FB (!) and after a fight she decided that I violated the girls-code (whatever that is) and that I was toxic – I don’t miss her
  28. I have never met my best friend – she is in London and we are in touch daily.
  29. It is easier for me to be authentic and open online than it is in my real life
  30. i prefer to step back and allow others to shine in real life
  31. online is real-life too, I know, but it is different
  32. I published 4 books, they can all be found on Amazon and they can also be bought through my blog, but only one person ever chose the latter option and that book went to Wales
  33. In 2020, for the first time ever, I did a piece of spoken word poetry and it can be found on an official release – a compilation by diy artists – I am a member of a discord channel as the only (?) non-musician and don’t know if I even fit in there – but the creator of the channel added me and I won’t complain
  34. I used to sing in a band and two songs I wrote made it on an album – I was made to leave (kicked out) when hey decided they only needed one singer and it would be better to be an all-male band. I cried and was disappointed, but not for too long. I am still friends with the members of the band. A while later, they split up and went on to have families and careers…
  35. I have been sharing music daily on the blog for a while now. I always start with the intention of only doing it for a month straight only, but to be honest, I like that most don’t know the songs I share and I hope that you can discover your next favourite artist
  36. I like supporting people and I like taking care of them
  37. If I take care of you, it means that I love you. I care about you. I never ask “how are you?” without wanting a real and true answer
  38. I write romantic poems and stories most of the time, I don’t consider myself to be a romantic woman though. I don’t want flowers or jewels, I want the little things
  39. I can be selfish
  40. I think I am shallow, but I am told I am not
  41. can I brag? I have an IQ (official test) of 132
  42. I am horrible with numbers
  43. My life is quite boring. I am home a lot and don’t like to socialise.
  44. My head is filled with boring facts about music, movies and everything related to those two. I just seem to memorise these things
  45. I am a good listener and remember little things about people
  46. last October, I met a Dutch couple I met online. I drove for four hours, spent four days with them and drove home again. I had a weird weekend. It was almost like wellness and yet, it was apparent that something internal was not quite right – I had the urge to touch my fingers the entire time, and one big phobia reared its head – I hate eating in front of people. I was an even weirder version of my normal self. it’s embarrassing, really. I’m sorry.
  47. people step into our lives when we need them not when we want them
  48. I don’t believe in regrets. Every decision I make is the right one in that moment. And if it turns out to be a bad decision later, then so be it. It sounds weird but allows me to be confident about my choices.
  49. I believe in the Butterfly Effect: If one thing was changed in the past, I would not be where I am now – this helps a lot with my messed up childhood and adolescence – because I like my life right now and I like the people who are part of it – even if they have no idea how important they are for my well-being
  50. amor fati – love your fate
  51. I write daily. In December my mentor passed away, without him, you would not be able to read any of my words. I miss him. He liked lists too.
  52. I use social media a lot, but I am not hung-up on stats. But, once in a while I wonder “who cares” and consider deleting everything. Everything but the blog. And for the blog, I do like to see that there are constant visitors.
  53. as I am writing this list, I am sitting at my kitchen table with plugs in my ear. The song that is playing is heavy metal (Kvelertak – heksebrann) and it is hard to sit still, but my kid has an online class and she is sitting here with me – i need to behave
  54. I am not a usual mom – I am often silly
  55. I like sunrises
  56. I like to sleep in – it clashes with the fact that I like sunrises
  57. when I wake up in the morning, I need a moment until I am ready to talk with anyone
  58. I can be very moody (good moods and bad moods too)
  59. The only way I know how to think is to overthink
  60. I am made of emotions but only movies and music make me cry
  61. I don’t like to show my vulnerable and weak side – I try to make fun of myself instead – yes, I am that insecure
  62. powertools don’t scare me. I know how to do many things around the house – I am independent, but I like it if a man takes care of me
  63. I like long baths
  64. kindness, respect, and gratitude are not a luxury
  65. you are always the bad guy in someone’s story – that’s a fact of life
  66. I love spinach, it is my second favourite dish
  67. I don’t like it when someone looks over my shoulder while I am looking at my phone or writing on the laptop.
  68. I am afraid to be judged wrongly – but since I am secretive and insecure, that is often the case
  69. most people I encounter use the word “mysterious” to describe me and even though this has happened for years now, no one has an answer to what is so “mysterious” about me.
  70. I gave up pretending online – I am who I am.
  71. I don’t pretend in real-life, I just don’t show everything
  72. I know a lot of theory about exercising and healthy food – and yet I am overweight
  73. I am quite short (160cm – 5’3)
  74. my wardrobe is filled with black tops and jeans
  75. my best physical assets: eyes (brown), boobs, ass
  76. I am a bad liar and think it is disrespectful to lie anyway
  77. I am easily hurt but I easily forgive too
  78. there is a song for every memory and every situation
  79. one indicator that I am not well (mentally) is when there is no music playing – it means i am overflowing with emotions and cannot deal with anything else clouding my mind
  80. an explosion of emotions – I wish I had come up with that, but I did not. I just use it a lot and the person who said it probably just said it in passing without giving it much thought
  81. my favourite season is autumn (fall). In winter it is too cold, in summer it is too hot and in spring there are too many allergies
  82. always look on the bright side of life
  83. I like art – abstract photography
  84. I haven’t seen my mother since 2016 – it is a conscious choice to protect me, but if I am honest and if I was in her position it would hurt – all my talk about being abandoned and rejected and I am doing it myself – and yet… I cannot change it. I cannot go and visit – even calling her is hard for me
  85. I know my twin-flame. It is not the man I married
  86. I never had any surgery or broken bones and the only X-Rays I had ever taken was at the dentists
  87. the song that is playing now is Billy Joel – she’s only a woman
  88. there is only one podcast I listen to regularly: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ZjcbBn2GdfMosNptBzEkP?si=uXUfwv8oQI2YskABoDD2KQ
  89. I know that spotify is not kind to indie artists and yet it is the easiest way to spread your music these days.
  90. I never owned any apple device
  91. there is a very thin line between emptiness and overflowing
  92. I am not alone, but I get very lonely sometimes
  93. I get lonely because I know exactly who I want to be in touch with but they are unavailable
  94. it’s the expectation that hurts more than anything else – no expectations, no hurt. I tried living without expectations, but it doesn’t work for me – maybe I am too much of a dreamer
  95. I hate video calls
  96. I don’t often use the word “hate”
  97. I am not a negative person, it is just easier to see the positive in other people than it is to see it in myself
  98. I know too many songs, I am singing alone to Pat Benatar’s Hit me with your best shot right now
  99. I have been struggling to come up with more facts since fact 53
  100. Thank you for indulging me – you deserve a big hug.

3 thoughts on “Facts about me

share a thought

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.