Guilty to feel good.

This is actually a sentiment I don’t share too often, but I am okay. I am well. Close to happy.

I don’t sleep well or a lot these days, I keep having these vivid dreams that wake me up often. And I keep tossing and turning until the sheets are knotted around my legs – as if it was trying to tie me to the bed.

In the mornings, I wake up early and don’t feel rested at all. But apart from yesterday and this afternoon, I am in an okay mood. I am not growling and biting off heads, I just go about my business.

My creative writing is suffering a great deal, and I am focussing on listening to music and reading. But I am not inspired to wrap anything into a poem or a short story. It is as if my mind decided that it is okay to just exist for a moment without taking control or doing stuff.

And it feels as if I am more balanced right now—just a tiny bit.

I still wish that I was invisible and yet, that I would like to be seen. I don’t like attention, and I value my privacy, and at the same time, I am bleeding onto pages in a book and screens in your hands. Which again, is okay.

I evolved a lot these last weeks. Thank you to everyone who was a tiny part of these changing times.


2 Replies to “Guilty to feel good.”

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