Category: bloganuary

What is something you wish you knew how to do?

I have been living in near panic mode all my life. I was kept on my toes all the times. I wish I knew how to relax, how to give up control and just exist. I am tense all the time. A perfectionist at work and a slouch at home. I wish I knew how to find balance. My mind goes a mile a minute. I am either sharing too much about myself, scaring good people with that, or I am too distant and cold, angering good people with that. I wish I knew how to be normal but that’s not how my brain is wired.

Heavy stuff for an early morning.

I also wish I knew how to write songs and play an instrument. Alas, I am just an avid music lover.

What was your favorite toy as a child?

I was not a spoilt child and did not have many toys, but my favourite was a Barbie. A brown-haired barbie that I called Laken. I don’t know why I chose that name, possibly because I heard it on TV or such something. It is the only toy I remember ever receiving from my dad. I still own it today. But, I also loved my Game Boy. I did not have many games, but that was not important. Tetris and Super Mario were my favourites, but I also owned Batman, Duck Tales, Tennis, even a game about the Simpsons. Those were the times. Simple. All we had to care about was the stock of batteries at home. And while I played with my Barbie doll or my Game Boy, alone in my room, music was playing. There was always music in my ears.

Write about the last time you left your comfort zone.

My comfort zone is not often challenged. In fact, I try to stay in my safe zone as much as possible. No, by far, I am not an adventurer.

But, in my job, I am forced to step out of this precious comfort zone a lot. It starts with spontaneous meetings and appointments and ends with visits at various doctor’s offices or administrations. You see, for me these things need planning. I need to know where I can park my car, how the building looks, waiting times… I need to feel as if I can control these situations. Alas, often when I get to work after two days off, I am greeted with an: “you are going to this appointment this morning.” And I always grin, shrug and agree. What else is there to do?! Inwardly though, I am panicking. Most often, shortly after such an announcement, I excuse myself to hide in the bathroom, where I Google everything in a hurry.

So there you have it, being spontaneous and looking as if I am in charge is a challenge for me and makes me leave my comfort zone time and time again.

But with the right song, every challenge turns out to be manageable.

What is a road trip you would love to take?

I am not much of a traveller and I don’t have any dream destinations waiting on a list. But, a road trip I could imagine taking would be from my native Luxembourg through Germany and Denmark; taking a ferry and exploring Finland, Sweden and Norway for a couple of weeks. Yes, I think I would love seeing those countries, their cities but also the nature and wild life. Of course, I would not go alone; I would be accompanied by good music and good people.

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Hang in there. Things get worse, but they also get better. Keep pushing and fighting for what you want, it is never easy and tears will be plenty, but it will pay off. And even if you don’t believe me now, one day you will be content and your search for this void to be filled will fade. Be brave. Stay kind and gentle. Follow your passions and be open to music of all kinds and genres.