me

me by CT

and as the thin silver metal blade of the knife slowly cuts into my pale skin to release drops of red blood
I am reminded, that
only I can make myself suffer
only I can feel my feelings
only I can think my thoughts
only I can fear my fears
only I can cry my tears

the crimson red liquid finds it’s way to freedom through the thin cut line
I breathe
I relax

only I can hurt myself
only I can bleed my blood
why?

why do others make me suffer?
why do others make me feel this way?
why do others make me think those thoughts?
why do others make me cry those tears?

guilt makes me hurt myself
guilt makes me bleed

and I realize, this is my life to live
this is… ME!