Every raindrop on my skin
Reminds me of you
Of the sweat and its drops on me
Every teardrop kept inside
Reminds me of you
Of the best memories we shared
Every raindrop soaks my soul
The way you seeped into me
When we shared the sheets
Every teardrop shed in lost hope
Becomes an ocean
Drowning me whenever I forget to swim
Drops of us. Rain forever in my soul. Tears of happiness. Drops of you. All of you. Inside all of me.
Darkness in her eyes
swallowing the light
Whenever life means well
Old wounds begin to swell.
The misery still unspoken
The nightmares reawoken.
A never disappearing sadness
Vanishing into never fading blackness.
There was a hole in my soul and you fell right through
I cried my eyes out of their sockets and lost my brain in my pockets
Now I am the queen of my thoughts who calls the shots
Addicted to filling unfillabel voids and remembering a past of being soiled.
Naked, bare. Enduring the stare.
You dare to cut old wounds open and expect me to be broken?
I will find my mind and leave all this behind
I lock your pictures in the corner of my brain
And reassure you that you never ever deserved to be my man…
Wrong looks
Wrong words
Wrong thoughts
Wrong lives
Everything wrong.
Cast them out
Don’t allow them into our circle
They will infect our perfect world with imperfections.
What’s wrong with me?
Who made me this kind of wrong?
Why can’t my thoughts be less wrong?
Will I ever learn how not to be wrong?
I was wrong for too long.
It left me raw.
In their eyes my kind of wrong will never be right.
Judgement
Assessment
A leer
A sneer.
Turn life off. This is all wrong.
Once, dreams brought solace to the struggling mind
Now it just deepens the sorrow, destroying hopes with nightmares.
Nights used to be an escape
But the loneliness is amplified by the silence that surrounds the jaded soul.
Empty vessel in my skin
You close the door
And I am not here
Trapped within.
There is no way out of this cage
Nothing left to chose
Yet everything left to lose
Blank page.
Call for my mind
But don’t hurt me again
I can’t bear the pain
Please, don’t leave me behind.
With you gone
I turn to the riverman
To give a helping hand
To take me away at dawn.
And the river understands the silent words
It remembers where you are
And that we will always remain close, never far
We became sherds.
Cut bleeding on this broken love
Our dreams became nightmares
Lovesongs pushed down the steepest stairs
Why couldn’t we rise above?
What happened to all those rhymes you whispered at night?
Your voice belongs to another one
Your light became another one’s sun
And I keep searching for you, far and wide.
Our year wasn’t wasted
But I can’t find the words to say
Please stay
Your lips were the sweetest I have ever tasted.
I cower in the corner of my mind
Wishing myself into your arms
Where there is no one inflicting never healing harms
Please come back – I am there; easy to find.
For several years I had to wait,
Behind the locked iron gate
I pretended it was fate
And that you were just late.
But you never came
And I began to blame
Everyone taking part in this game
And accusing them of the same.
They kept you away from me
And refused to let our love be free
They were simply to blind to see
That there was no you without me.
Or no me without you?
Could that be true?
Could it be that they knew?
We belong together, just us two.
So I saved myself inside my dreams
Where, at least it seems
Our love was still held together at its seams
And waiting at the gates for years was not labelled too extreme.
In the dark cold night
My heart and my mind continued their fight
They argued about who was right
And who could turn on my inner light.
Time went by and you were still gone.
Everything I could, I had done
And I was convinced you were the one
So I kept waiting and realised that in my madness, I was all alone.
The lesson learned here
Might not be cristal clear
But as long as you are not near,
I will spend my time with an other, dear.
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I be able to breathe when you aren’t my air?
And will I cease to exist when you aren’t there?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my heart find a rhythm of its own?
And will I cry myself to sleep – alone?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my mind find peace and serenity?
And will I remember you longer than eternity?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my smile be brave and strong?
And will I hear our story in every song?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I go back to the way I was before?
And will there be an other opened door?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will my brain pretend that everything’s a lie?
And will my thoughts ever truly say goodbye?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will there still be happiness for me?
And will it come with a price or is it for free?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Will I ever forget you?
And will I ever forget how to love you, too?
Who was I before you and who will I be when you’re gone?
Were you the stitches that held my broken heart together?
Were you in the words I erased from my page?
Remind me of the reasons why I needed you?
Truth is, I need you to fill the silence within.
Truth is, I need you to fill the pages in my book.
Remind me of the reasons why I love you?
It is all in the songs we didn’t hear.
It is all in the breathing air we didn’t share.
No reminder needed…
reflections of an unquiet mind 