my sun

If I could live without you and go where my mind wants to send me, darkness would be my comforting blanket. But I cannot breathe without you, and my heart keeps racing into your arms, where I find a love so strong that everything feels like a new sunrise. 
Sunrise as seen from our old home (Sept. 22nd, 2017)


She became a habit that was hard to shake. A thought that became clearer and clearer until he needed to have his fix every day. More and more. There was nothing he could do. He became addicted to her mind. He was addicted to the little oddities and eccentricities. It had to be her. Every day he needed a little piece of her. She was a habit that was hard to shake.

Take me home tonight

He intended to leave with grace, but he is unable to forget her face
The feel of her skin against his fingers, it is a memory that still lingers
He walks down the empty street; head bowed down in defeat
She is an explosion in his emotions, tears in neverending oceans
He wants to hold her one more time and see her light shine
And there she is, under a streetlight, illuminated by the night 
He remembers the smell of her hair, and strolls over there
Their eyes meet, and he wants to run. What if she is done?
But she is not; she holds out her hand as if there had never been an end
That slight touch makes everything right, and they walk off into the midnight.
Together, at last, he is glad that life without her is in the past.


I am weak, but I can’t let you go with a sad song in your eyes. I am selfish, but I refuse to let you slip out of my life. I am ready to beg you to love me, but that is not the issue. You love me enough. I cannot say goodbye to you because I cannot breathe when you are not in my life. And the tears that leave dark dots on my clothes, they mock me. Wasn’t it me who said it is okay either way? Please stay! Don’t go away! But you have to, and I miss you forever and a day. Kiss me just one more time so that I remember how to feel alive.

This is how it is shared on IG (picture taken by myself, of course)

Dancing in the rain

Leaves dancing in the rain
Sun licking the morning dew;
Reflections in the window pane
Grey skies turning blue,

Behind a concealing mask
Feelings are an uncomfortable mess,
To understand is an unbearable task
And it’s easier to leave than to stay, I guess.

Toxic thoughts and actions;
Driving so-called friends away
Understanding their reactions
But missing them forever and a day.

More light in the dark
More tears in an ocean
Another life’s mark
Overcome by emotion.

A head full of spinning thoughts
Cowering in the corner of my mind
To unfurl their knots.
Once again, I am left behind.

A soap bubble of for never
Floating up to the clouds
A memory to stay forever
Hidden from the crowds.

I am the shadow in my light
I am the hope in my despair
But after my lastest sleepless night I can say that
I am still there.

(May 2017)

Eternal Dreams

German original

Every morning when the sun greedily devours the new day
And the sky is bathed in colored hues
I forget the nameless desire that visits me in the shadow of the night for just a blink of an eye.
I long to return to my dreams; to where your arms protect me
And where we share our breathing air;
to where quiet moments and hidden memories become eternal and our souls are forever intertwined.