Tag: music

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remembering August – a throwback post

I am up early today. I already cleaned the kitchen, put in a load of laundry, and had a cup of coffee outside. I am on my second cup now. Quite mundane.

This morning, I got a notification telling me that there is a new subscriber on the blog, yesterday I received the same notification. I just wanted to take a moment to welcome you both.

It also gave me the idea to browse the blog and share what I have been up to in the last decade on here. Decade? Yes, it’s going to be 12 years on this journey and there are no signs of stopping.

Okay, so what has happend on or around an August 23rd on this blog since 2012? Here goes:

2012 : nothing. The blog’s birthday is in December 🙂

2013:

don’t let me die

2014:

frozen heart

2015:

Fragmented Thoughts

2016:

Callous Whispers

2017:

Throwback
This one is like inception: a post in a post in a post. It’s nice though, very much in the gist of what I am writing currently

2018:

drunken poetry

2019:

2020:

Sunday Scribbles #15 – mirrors

2021:

untitled_20210824

2022:

A modern vesper

2023:

Lost in space

What strikes me most is that I really wrote a lot of poetry and always seem to have. To be honest, I thought the poetry was a more recent thing and didn’t go back all the way. There is a lot of music too. August 22 was a month of music. And so many posts. So many words. And most are mine. It’s incredible. While putting this post together, I felt embarrassed by the words I read. And I was ready to change this post and make it something different. No one would have known, right? Well halfway through the embarrassment changed into something close to pride. I say close to pride because I am having troubles feeling that emotion. I was not raised to see my successes, I was raised to see my failures and dwell on them.

Be it as it may, above are (let me count again) 11 posts. I’d say they are worth getting some attention, but who am I to judge? The coffee is kicking in.

Did any of these posts stand out for you? Which one? I know it is a lot of work to read through them all, but let me assure you, there are less words in all the 11 posts combined than in this post here. The comments are open everywhere. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts.

While I am writing this, I am also listening to music. (The moment I stop listening to music, something is very wrong). Oddly enough, the song is from the same band and the same album as the song from the 2022 post. Her Name is Calla – Animal Choir. Trusted readers know my story with this band extends way past the music.

Thank you very much for being there. It matters. You may think it doesn’t and that no one even notices that you are there. But I know and I see you.

If you want to know more about me or where to find me online or offline, take a look at this post:

about me
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Nostalgia and Growth

Sometimes it feels as if I am writing into the void. That’s often nice enough, but sometimes, I crave some feedback. Maybe some attention, you could also say. A decade ago, I shared many of my stories on a site called Wattpad. It’s one of those sites where you post your writing and with a little luck, you get instant response. The dopamine rush of that can be addicting and I admit, when I stopped writing long stories and only poetry started to leave my fingers, the interaction became less and less. I was spoiled by the young readers and their enthusiasm and it couldn’t be diverted to the poetry. I decided that it was time to go. I had a great following there; three times as much as I have here. And most of them were active in one way or another. I miss that here. I am very grateful for the handful of names that pop up daily in my notifications. Very much so. And I can never repay you for the time you’ve spent here on my blog.

It’s petty but I kind of miss that instant gratification I had on Wattpad right now. I miss more people reacting to my writing. And sometimes I think about joining that place again, just for the sake of it. But the truth is, I’ve outgrown the site. I am in my 40s and shouldn’t want that kind of attention. Then again, attention generates sales. I sold two copies of Fire & Rain on Amazon since it came out. And two here on the blog. Often I wonder if I even have the right to call myself a writer or a poet. But I am. I have all the words and the files to show that I am.

That sounds all wrong and infuriating, doesn’t it? But there is a reason for that too.

I write daily. Post new poems almost daily too. I wonder if it is too much or if I am not good enough after all. Maybe the voices in my head insisting that I am delusional to think that my writing has any value in anyone’s life are right and I should stop pestering everyone with it. (Writing this, allowing the thought to appear in black letters on my white screen makes me feel embarrassed and fragile.)

Sometimes, when I receive a very nice comment, I screenshot it. For exactly the above reason. To remind myself that at one time, one person was affected by a string of words I wove together. I need that reminder. I need to remember that I matter.

That’s why I collected few mentioned screenshots and put them in a gallery on the blog. On the desktop, it should be to your right, on the mobile it should be visible when you scroll all the way down.

I am not a pretender, not a fraud. I know words. And I know how to use them. I know what sounds flat and forced and how to put a sentence to make it emotive and real. Rationally I know all that. But I doubt myself anyway.

I feel the need to say “THANK YOU” to all of you who are here in this corner with me. You’ve found me and liked me or my words (or both) enough to show up again and again. I am not giving back enough, but I love and appreciate you a lot.

and as I am sitting here, bleeding my thoughts on the screen again, a song called Panic is playing. A song I haven’t heard in years. It came on in a Spotify playlist. The lyrics are a bit weird, poetic and relatable. The song is a lot louder and more chaotic than the music I listen to recently. My kids are joking about it, they say I’m growing into a softy. And maybe they are right. Then again, maybe they aren’t.

I look up and out of my window and see the blue sky, the wind that is caressing the grapevines and the old linden tree. In the window of the neighbours, I can see the reflection of my home. I love my home and the life I am living right now.

There is more to this day than my sullen mood. A lot more. I will make lunch for my daughters, pick up my son from work (with my new car) and then I will read, listen to music and remember that I am not alone. Even if I feel quite lonely right now. It’s too quiet around me, it makes room for my thoughts to become too loud. This too will pass.

If you have a minute, take a look at the new gallery. And if you have two, could you leave comment for me? Just to let me know that you are there. Thank you.

It’s Friday! Enjoy your day.

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Simple and Profound: Me

The most read poem on the blog:

Steal me!

I decided to share the above poem again because it holds a special place in my heart. As I browsed the stats today, I was pleasantly surprised to see that there has been a surge in views on the blog recently. And while I was browsing and reading, I noticed that the poem above has garnered the most reads ever. This reaffirms my belief in the power of simplicity and the beauty of brevity. It’s fascinating to see how this simple, short poem has resonated with so many people, making it clear that sometimes the most straightforward works hold the most profound impact.

The most viewed post about music:

Goodbye, Anathema

I wrote a lot about music and the meaning of it in my life. It is a bit of a surprise that over the years this has become the most read or viewed post about music. Still, I like it though. By the way, both Cavanagh brothers came out with new music this week. Both collaborated with Daniel Cardoso and both songs couldn’t be any more different. Weather Systems’s track truly captures the essence of emotional and powerful music. The track “do angels sing like rain” is a masterpiece that takes the listener on a journey through the depths of human emotions. On the other hand, The Radicant’s EP “We Ascend” is a bold step into experimental and boundary-pushing music. The mesmerizing and intricate sounds in the title track leave a lasting impression. The diversity of these projects showcases the incredible range of the artists involved. It’s truly fascinating how artists can explore such different musical territories. If you haven’t already, give both artists a listen, they deserve it.

The most read short story:

rare bird (edited)

The original piece, penned back in 2014, still resonates with me today as I revisit it on this very site. It’s fascinating to look back on a piece that captures a different time in my life. Reflecting on it now, it’s clear that those stories played a crucial role in shaping my growth as a writer and helped me tap into the depths of my creative reservoir. They were instrumental in guiding me towards discovering and nurturing the poet within.

It took a long while to find my voice, and in a way I think the writing on this blog that was recently shared is amongst the best I ever shared. It’s just a feeling, maybe you feel otherwise. I have been very inspired when I finished editing Fire&Rain. It’s quite nice. This was my trip down memory lane for this week.

Now, here is my question for you and I would be happy if you would take the time to engage with me:

What is the first poem you read on my blog? Do you remember it?

Did you listen to the songs? Which one do you prefer?

Which posts do you prefer to see on this blog? Obviously, there is a lot about me too, and short stories like Rare Bird…

Too much? No, it’s simple, profound: me. More about me can be found here: about me.

Keep in touch 🙂

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The school holidays are finally here

Good afternoon,

The much-anticipated school holidays have finally arrived, and I can’t help but feel a sense of exhilaration. After the whirlwind of releasing my book, “Fire&Rain,” I’ve been eagerly anticipating this time to savor some precious moments of solitude and rejuvenation.

This morning, I decided to embark on a refreshing hike, allowing the crisp air and the steady rhythm of my steps to cleanse my mind. As I walked, I listened intently to the soothing flow of the nearby water, its gentle sounds washing over me and filling me with a sense of calm. After a well-deserved shower, I found my cozy spot on the couch, ready to dive into the newest addition to my private library – Édouard Louis’ “changer : méthode.” To further enhance the experience, I put on my trusted Spotify playlist, allowing the soft melodies to envelop me as I turn the pages.

In a pursuit of self-discovery, I’ve also taken up the challenge of learning to play the ukulele. The soft tones of this instrument are sure to become the soundtrack to my newfound moments of tranquility and personal growth. As a preschool teacher, I can’t wait to incorporate the ukulele into my lessons, using its playful and engaging sounds to captivate and inspire my young students.

This is a time of boundless possibilities, and I am the architect of my own remarkable journey. I will cherish these moments of solitude, for they are the fertile ground upon which my next chapter will blossom. The words of Édouard Louis, the melodies of the ukulele, and the familiar tunes from my playlist will undoubtedly inspire me to embrace the transformative power of change and the beauty of the present moment.

The journey has only just begun, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me. Just like me, let the magic of literature and music guide you.

And if you need some literature, my poetry collection is waiting for you to read it.

Enjoy your Thursday

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music, my companion

I’ve been listening to this unreleased album on repeat for the past week, completely entranced by the raw emotional power of the music. The way the melancholic guitar lines intertwine with the singer’s soulful, weathered vocals is utterly captivating, evoking a profound sense of melancholy and longing that resonates deep within me.
This album feels like a window into the artist’s most vulnerable, introspective moments, and I feel privileged to be one of the few who has had the chance to hear it. Music has been a constant companion and guiding force throughout my life. From the moment I first heard the haunting melodies of Depeche Mode as a teenager, struggling to make sense of the world, the emotive progressive rock of Anathema has been a profound source of catharsis and self-discovery. The band’s ability to craft intricate, atmospheric soundscapes that mirror the full spectrum of human emotion has been a lifeline, helping me navigate the joys and sorrows of growing up. And now, in this latest chapter, the raw, intimate songwriting of artists like Glen Hansard has become a salve for my soul, a means of transcending the mundane and tapping into something sacred.
There’s an ineffable quality to music that goes beyond mere words – the way a perfectly placed chord progression can unlock dormant wells of joy or sorrow within us, the manner in which a single lyric can crystallize a profound truth about the human condition. For me, music has always been a portal to the divine, a conduit for spiritual transformation and growth. In its most potent form, it becomes a language unto itself, conveying insights and emotions that defy verbal expression.
As I continue to get lost in this unreleased album, I’m reminded of the countless ways music has enriched and elevated my life. It has been a loyal companion through times of triumph and adversity, a wellspring of comfort and catharsis. And I’m endlessly grateful for the artists who pour their hearts and souls into their craft, giving voice to the full spectrum of the human experience. This album, in particular, feels like a rare and precious gift – a window into the artist’s most vulnerable, introspective moments, and a poignant reminder of music’s unparalleled ability to touch the depths of the human experience and transport us to realms of profound transcendence.

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Join the Celebration of ‘Fire & Rain’: Share Your Honest Thoughts

I’m so excited to announce the upcoming release of my 8th poetry collection, ‘Fire & Rain’! This body of work will be officially published on July 12th, and I would be honored beyond words if you would help me celebrate its launch.

First and foremost, I would be deeply grateful if you could take a few moments to share your honest thoughts and reactions to the poems I’ve been sharing on the blog. Your feedback – whether glowing praise or constructive critique – is invaluable, as it helps me continue refining my craft with each new collection.

And as a special thank you for your readership and support, I’d love for you to join me in spreading the word about ‘Fire & Rain’ on your social channels. A simple review, Instagram story, or tweet about the new book would mean the world and help introduce my work to readers who may find it equally moving and meaningful.

In fact, anyone who shares about ‘Fire & Rain’ and tags me will be entered to win a signed copy of the collection! I’m so lucky to have such an engaged community of poetry lovers like you, and I can’t wait to connect over this new release.

Your support has carried me through all my previous publications, and I’m humbled to be sharing this next poetic journey with you. As I embark on this new chapter, I am filled with gratitude for the encouragement and inspiration you have provided along the way. Your positive energy has fueled my creative process, and I can’t wait to reciprocate by offering you a glimpse into the emotions and experiences that have shaped ‘Fire & Rain’. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, and to celebrating the arrival of ‘Fire & Rain’ together.

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dancing

Raftside – a project by Luxembourgish musician Filip Markiewitcz
When my soul breaks free from its cage,
The body takes charge, a bold new stage,
Limbs move with grace, a primal sway,
As my heart and mind fade away.

The rhythm pulses through every vein,
Igniting a fire, a passionate flame,
My feet take flight, my arms unfurl,
In this moment, I'm the only girl.

The world fades out, the music guides,
My spirit soars, my worries subside,
I lose myself in the endless dance,
Surrendering to this blissful trance.

My body becomes the canvas pure,
Where emotions paint, raw and sure,
Each step, each sway, a brushstroke true,
Expressing the depths of my soul's hue.

In this dance, I find my true self,
Unbridled, free, no need for stealth,
The body and soul, a perfect pair,
Embracing the moment, without a care

The music fades, but the feeling lingers,
A memory etched, my heart it singes,
This dance, a gift, a moment sublime,
Where my body and soul, in harmony, intertwine.
nosi feat CHAiLD. CHAiLD is a the man with the voice, a local artist too.

Both songs inspired the above poem. It’s one of those that fell into my lap and was written in under 5 minutes

have a great weekend and enjoy the music

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Personal Favorites: English and Luxembourgish Songs from My Homeland

Today, I have something special for you. Tomorrow, we will celebrate our Luxembourgish National Holiday (Nationalfeierdag). Traditionally, there will be fireworks, parades and a lot of live music. I put together a playlist with 30something songs made in Luxembourg.

Our National Holiday used to be our monarch’s birthday. Up until the 60s it was celebrated in January. But because of the cold weather (imagine that!) the festivities were moved to June 23rd. Now, this date is no guarantee for good weather. This year, summer hasn’t arrived yet. It’s unseasonably cold and wet, and yet it is very damp outside too.

Luxembourgish people are said to be stand-offish, at the same time most of us are very tolerant and open. We are known to switch from our native language to French or German within a sentence. And around the world Luxembourg is also (falsely) known for its wealth. I say falsely, because the cost of living and rents or mortgages are very high here. Based on our salary (compared to other countries) we appear to be rich, but we are not. Like everywhere in the world there is 1% that is richer than the majority of the country. We have the same issues with substance abuse and homelessness than other countries. And the alcohol consumption over here is way above average compared to other countries. And yet, we are a good bunch of people, I think. We have a rich cultural diversity. With many places to visit and lots to learn. Which brings me back to the playlist I am sharing with you today.

The genres of music in Luxembourg are as divers as the citizens of this beautiful country Grand-Duchy. In this playlist you can find songs I personally like. They are in English and in Luxembourgish. It’s a bit of a weird language if you never heard it, and as I’ve been told it is pretty hard to learn too. But, it’s what I speak every day.

Once in a while, I am asked why I never write poetry in my mother tongue. Honestly, I find it very difficult to find the right words to convey what I want to say in my language. It’s easier in English, at least for me it is. That said, in the playlist are two songs I wrote the lyrics for – both in English (of course). Should I reveal which ones or should I let you guess? Followers of the blog may remember them because I posted them before. Years ago. Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s Run Baby Run, and Little Girl. They were written a lifetime ago. Long before I really started writing poetry and prose. Long before I found my own voice. Maybe you can hear my whisper in them though.

No whispers but my loud and clear voice can be found in my upcoming release Fire & Rain. It was added to the BNL – Bibliothèque Nationale du Luxembourg (National Library of Luxembourg). A couple of copies have been pre-ordered, thank you for that. Two were given away to close friends. If you want your copy, let me know.

Have a great weekend, listen to some music, read some poetry. Be kind and happy. I am here all weekend if you fancy a chat. Did you ever hear of Luxembourg before? What are the things you heard and do you want to know if they are true?

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your words


Your words, a gentle breeze,
Bring calm to troubled seas,
A soothing balm to ease the mind,
In your voice, peace I find.

When anger clouds the air,
Your words dispel the fear,
They guide me to a kinder way,
Lighting up a brighter day.

Through pain and sorrow’s veil,
Your words never fail,
They offer hope, a helping hand,
To heal the wounds, understand.

In times of doubt and strife,
Your words bring joy to life,
They lift my spirits, make me whole,
Nurturing peace within the soul.

Your words, a melody so sweet,
Soothe the heart, make it beat,
With kindness, they embrace and hold,
A treasure more precious than gold.

When the world seems dark and bleak,
Your words give me the strength to seek,
The light that shines through the gloom,
Dispelling the shadows, bringing bloom.

In your words, I find a home,
A sanctuary where I can roam,
Free from the burdens I bear,
Embraced by your words, beyond compare.

Your words, a guiding star,
Lead me to where we are,
Reminding me of my worth,
Spreading peace across the earth.

With each syllable you speak,
You help the weary find their feet,
Your words, a bright star in the night,
Illuminating the path to the light

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ten years ago or embracing change and gratitude

Ten years ago, our lives were swept up in a whirlwind of positive change. We were completely different individuals, each with our unique ways of doing things and distinct thoughts. I was deeply immersed in my role as a dedicated stay-at-home mom, gracefully navigating the beautiful chaos of family life. It’s almost unbelievable that my best friend had not yet become a cherished part of my world. At that time, my writing journey was just beginning, fueled by boundless passion and potential as I enthusiastically delved into the world of storytelling and self-expression. Jamie and Robert were vibrant souls, illuminating our lives with their infectious energy and unwavering friendship, with their knowledge and their wisdom. I miss them a lot. My small circle of friends formed a tapestry of support and love, with each person contributing to the rich fabric of my life and providing invaluable companionship. Things quickly changed when I did, but that’s another story. And for tonight, it is not worth telling. I ardently championed undiscovered musicians, recognizing their immeasurable talent and fully believing in their ability to conquer the world through the power of their music. Who were we back then, in that remarkable chapter of our lives? That woman from ten years ago seems so distant from who I am now. I was so naive, knowing so little outside my bubble. In fact, I was just taking the first steps to recovery, working on my mental health and getting to know myself.

And look where we are now! And who we are! What an incredible difference a decade makes! I wouldn’t want to go back, I can tell you that. I cherish the present and the amazing individuals in my life. While I wouldn’t wish for the return of certain friendships, I would do anything to have Jamie and Robert with us once more, that’s for sure. My best friend – I cherish our bond immensely and am grateful for his presence in my life. Sometimes, I reflect on how life may have seemed simpler for me personally a decade ago. Nonetheless, I adore my life. Immensely. I am grateful for where I am and who I have become today. I wouldn’t change a thing, as every experience has contributed to shaping the person I am today, with all the beautiful imperfections and valuable lessons learned along the way.

Truthfully, this post was inspired by a musician who once contemplated deleting his entire music history due to self-doubt. I want to emphasize that both Martyn Jackson and Orellana are truly worth your attention if you have an affinity for this kind of music, and I was glad to see them put their music back up. A decade ago, I fervently supported this artist, and my admiration remains unwavering to this day. What can I say? Loyalty has its place, and so does a deep appreciation for talent, music, and life. And now that Martyn has put his music back on Bandcamp, a few steps down memory lane are allowed for sure.

Where were you ten years ago?

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musing/thoughts – 511 words – reading time: 3 minutes

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purge

As I closed the front door of my empty home, a wave of relief washed over me, as if I had finally escaped the chains of the day’s oppressive demands. All the pent-up tears burst forth, tracing a path of liberation down my cheeks. Stepping over the threshold seemed to trigger a deluge of emotion, purging the burdens I had carried for hours. The hush of the empty house enveloped me like a comforting embrace, offering solace amidst the storm of my feelings. As the tears flowed freely, I discovered a cathartic release, allowing myself to embrace the vulnerability I had concealed beneath a façade of strength. In the solitude of that moment, I welcomed the rawness of my emotions, acknowledging them as an essential part of my human experience. With the last tear shed, I sensed a gentle renewal, as if the act of letting go had cleansed me of strain and fatigue, leaving behind a glimmer of peace and the promise of a brighter day ahead.

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fiction – 168 words – reading time: 1 minute

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speed

The concept of a marathon versus a sprint is a fascinating one. The saying “it’s a marathon, not a sprint” suggests that success is more about steady, consistent progress rather than quick, immediate results. However, there is a lot skepticism about this notion within me, and I think it is quite valid. In many cases, achieving our goals does indeed feel like a sprint. We often find ourselves pushing hard, exerting every bit of energy and focus to reach a particular milestone in our personal or professional lives. The truth likely lies in a balance between the two: the marathon’s endurance and the sprint’s intensity. Recognizing when to pace ourselves for the long haul and when to give it our all in a short burst is the key to navigating the journey towards our aspirations.

The idea about this actually came after watching the Bon Jovi documentary. Listening to Bon Jovi uncool, and to be honest, I don’t know why. That band has been around for 4 decades and toured the world a couple of times. They worked their butts off. Okay okay, maybe I also feel particularly connected to them because my sister was a big fan when Keep the Faith came out in 1992. And that led to seeing my first concert in 1996 without adult supervision. (My second concert in total, the first was in 1993 or 1994, if I remember correctly, East 17 – yes, I was a huge fan and knew every song by heart without understanding the lyrics). Back to Bon Jovi. I remember that day vividly, we were 3 young girls (me at 13, my sister 16, and her best friend 15). We stood in the third row, the sun was shining on us and we didn’t dare to leave to have a drink or go to the loo. Today, I wonder how we were able to do this. An entire day in the scorching heat – it’s crazy and we were lucky nothing bad happened. But that’s age talking, and probably my mom-genes are rearing their head too. Looking back, it’s amazing how different our perspectives can be as we grow older. The resilience and adventurous spirit of youth, coupled with the exuberance of being at a memorable event, make for a potent combination, for sure.

In the documentary, there were parts of that tour too and it made me wonder: if that experience had been different, would I have become the same avid concert goer I was for a while? Corona put a halt to me going to live gigs. But for this autumn, I’ve already got ticket to see two bands and I am excited for that. Part of this excitement comes from the knowledge that this experience will be shared with former band mates. Am I even allowed to call them that? We are friends or acquaintances a lot longer than we were a band (or I was part of it). There is a bond, a love for music that helps us to stay in each other’s orbit. I like that a lot. And I am very appreciative of the short creative moments we had. They shaped me.

It’s quite intriguing to consider the profound influence of music on our lives, especially during specific periods. The emotive power of music can resonate deeply within us, often without us even realizing it. During times of introspection, the significance of melodies and lyrics can become notably pronounced, offering solace, inspiration, and a sense of connection.

Music has the remarkable ability to encapsulate the essence of our emotions and experiences, providing a soundtrack to our lives. It can uplift our spirits, evoke nostalgia, or even serve as a channel for catharsis. The resonance of certain songs and melodies can become intertwined with our memories, etching themselves into the fabric of our existence.

Moreover, the ever-evolving landscape of the world around us can influence our perception of music. In times of change or uncertainty, the allure of familiar tunes and the discovery of new musical experiences can offer a semblance of stability and excitement amid the flux.

As we navigate the ebb and flow of life, it’s natural to find ourselves drawn more deeply to the enchanting allure of music. Its capacity to articulate the intricacies of our emotions and captivate our senses is indeed a treasure to be cherished, especially during periods of contemplation and growth.

It comes and goes. It ebbs it flows. It’s a lifelong love, deeper, more resonating than anything or anyone. Love just like music that transcends time and space, resonates deeply within the hearts of us; those who had and have to experience it.

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musing – 775 words – reading time: 4 minutes (see, if you get me started about music, I will ramble on and on and on)

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I’m thinking of…

… ending things. No it’s less dramatic than it sounds. I am Thinking of Ending Things is a novel by Iain Reid I began reading a couple of years ago but never finished. The title stayed with me. Maybe I should give it a second chance. It’s just, and I am quite sure many people feel the same: at times, reading can feel like a serene escape while at other times, sifting through lengthy narratives feels daunting when compared to the instant gratification of bite-sized information on the internet. 

Anyway… I am thinking a lot about music right now and how it affects me and my moods. For me, music is amongst the most important things in my daily life and it is hard to explain. After all, I am not a musician. I can sing a bit, but that’s about it. I am just a fan, a listener, a supporter. When I was a child, music became a safe haven, a refuge. A constant in my life that was there and took me as I was. It listened to me as much as I did listen to it. There was and still is a song for every moment in life. And even though my parents weren’t fit to be my parents (I say “my parents” because my dad is a good dad to my half-sister, I think) , they gave me the gift of music. My mom was a music lover in her own right and my dad has been in bands since he was 15. His love for music – new and old, is a faithful companion. And often when we meet, when we run out of topics to talk about, we gravitate towards music. We are both comfortable with that. Recently I was told again that I have a vast knowledge about music and bands in general, but I think I am in a bubble. I only know things about the ones I am interested in and have also the handful of artists I really really don’t like.

Last week, a musician approached me to write a review about an album that does not have a release date yet. The album is awesome, I think. Impressive and captivating. I have been listening to it on repeat and still discover and hear new elements in every song. I haven’t tired of it, which is a good sign. But finding the right words and writing an objective, informative review that also incites the readers to go and listen to (and buy) the music – that’s very hard. And I don’t think I have the right skills for that at present. I am looking at music blogs like Jeff’s and his writing is off the charts and always spot on. Other music blogs do it too, but personally, I think Jeff’s writing about music is the best. It’s easily said that everyone’s a critic, but doing just that in an objective, fair, and educated way is not easy at all. All these words to say, I am still thinking about it, doing it – writing the review, but right now, the chances are rather slim.

Sometimes, I wonder if I had the same thoughts if my life had been different. You know what I mean?

It’s a thought that often crosses the mind, isn’t it? The idea that our experiences shape the way we see the world and the thoughts that occupy our minds. If our lives had taken different turns, would our thoughts and perspectives be entirely different as well? It’s intriguing to think about how our personal journeys influence the inner workings of our minds. Whether it’s the people we’ve met, the places we’ve been, or the challenges we’ve faced, they all contribute to shaping the our thoughts.

Every decision made and every path chosen has contributed to the unique set of thoughts that occupy our minds today. It’s a fascinating concept, contemplating the interconnected nature of our experiences and our thoughts. Don’t you think? Perhaps in an alternate reality where our lives unfolded differently, our thoughts would indeed be unrecognizable. But in this reality, shaped by our experiences, the endless “what ifs” linger in the corners of our minds sometimes rear their heads to stir our thoughts.

Ah, there… typically me… jumping from one topic to the next without an apparent connection. But in my mind, everything I wrote above is somehow linked. When I start to pen down my thoughts, it’s like taking a leisurely stroll through a labyrinth of ideas and emotions. The connection may not be apparent at first glance, but upon closer inspection, the threads that bind it all together slowly start to unravel. It’s a bit like uncovering hidden links and meanings.

It’s fascinating how our thoughts can drift to unexpected places on a sunlit Thursday morning, with the warmth of the sun caressing our backs. In the background, the turntables spin a record, creating an ambiance that seems to both define and defy the moment. Today, it’s Pearl Jam’s “Lightning Bolt” (2013).

As I bask in the sunlight, it’s tempting to let the world turn and allow my mind to remain a pristine, unmarked canvas. However, that’s not who I am. Instead, I embrace the musings and the melodies, finding inspiration in the thin almost imperceptible differences between the ordinary moment and the extraordinary soundtrack that accompanies it. Each line etched in my mind becomes a verse waiting to be written, a thought seeking expression on the pages that now lay before me. And you.

My moods are improving, the darkness I felt for weeks and the demons that were attached to my skin are finally disappearing. There is some fragility left in me and it is always there, we know that. There is also an underlying strength and a lot of integrity ingrained in me. But something slightly shifted this week and allowed more light and more hope back in. As I wrote a couple of days ago – let’s embrace the beauty simplicity so that maybe the overthinking mind gets a rest.

Enjoy this Thursday. Listen to music. Sit in the sun. Write. Read. Think. Do whatever feels best for you right now in this moment. And allow me to thank you. For reading all these thoughts that have a meaning but don’t matter. Or maybe they matter but or meaningless? Perhaps, they hold deeper meaning beneath their superficial appearance, or perhaps, their significance eludes us, shrouded in enigma.

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musings – 1074 words – reading time: 6 minutes (this stream of consciousness turned out much longer and weirder than initially intended. Then again, we all know that my posts are never planned… My mind seems to be a bit like trying to find a path in the fog but not having a map and forgetting if you are walking or driving or maybe even flying… I’ll stop here 🙂

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30 day song challenge 30/30

Day 30

The last one. I am up early. I am always up early, but today I could have slept in. During the week, I get up at 5am. I was coughing myself awake again and I still have trouble breathing (and hearing) because of my congested nose.

Anyway…

A song that reminds you of yourself

There is not that one song that reminds me of me. I think others could find more suitable answers for this. And that’s why I ask you: is there a song that reminds you of me? Share your answers in the comments.

For me, this challenge (and the daily posts) end here. But, it’s never too late to join in on the fun. Or, you can, of course, share another daily challenge with me.

Me, I am going to take the next two weeks and relax and get healthy again. There’s a lot planned though, from trips to administrations to dentist and doctor’s appointments and dinners with lovely people… But first, just relaxing. Enjoy your weekend. Don’t forget me. ❤️

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30 day song challenge 29/30

Day 30

A song you remember from your childhood

Chris Rea – auberge

My mom was a big Chris Rea fan when I was a kid. I don’t know if she still listens to music. I haven’t seen her since my cousin’s wedding last year and I have absolutely no desire to see her or speak with her. And although I sound like an evil person, I made my peace with the situation. Anyway… I heard a lot of Chris Rea when I grew up (and Dire Straits, Pink Floyd and more). I did not take much positivity from my childhood, but music was always there in abundance.

It’s never too late to join in on the fun. Which is your song of choice?