give me your hand (written by micqu)
give me your hand
give me your hand
and I’ll catch you when you fall
I’ll never let you down
I’ll never run from you
I’ll never give up on you
give me your hand
give me your hand
and I’ll protect you from your demons
I’ll never let them in
I’ll never make you cry
I’ll never let go of your hand
give me your hand
give me your hand
and I’ll stay at your side
gone (written by micqu)
why can’t you come back?
you left me in a dark hole
scars haven’t closed the wounds and hurt you left behind
there is no peace yet
I know, time will heal my sorrow
but for now, you’re gone
gone
gone
the pain lingers
I need you
I’m useless without you
come back?
I tried to survive
and I tried
and I tried
and I failed
What right do I have? (written by micqu)
I’ve got no right to be here
there were times I was alright
and there were times I was a mess
and now the fog clouding my thoughts won’t clear
all those questions
and not one single answer
I’ve got no right to feel this way
there were times life was worse
and there were times life was sublime
and now the fog clouding my thoughts makes me sway
all those questions
and not one single answer
I’ve got no right to bottle this up
there were times I was happy
and there were times I was sad
and now the fog clouding my thoughts won’t let me cope
all those questions
and not one single answer
I’ve got no right to cry
there were times people died
there were times children were born
and now the fog clouding my thoughts makes me want to hide.
Why?
song for my dad (written by CT)
you are so close but too far
you are always on my mind
you are a part of me
and I am a part of you
same blood, same flesh
very different people
you are so close, yet too far
you’re like a stranger from another star
this song is for you – dad
I missed you so many times
now I know that there is no room
for me, in your life
there’s no place for me
I am a part of you
you are a part of me
same blood, same flesh
too different to hold on to this pain
Killer
she walked into the Café with
a tear in her eye but
a smile on her lips
the waiter poured some coffee
and she looked over at me
he sat there
reading a magazine
looking effeminate
he ordered some coffee
and he looked over at me
I am not from Mars
I am not special
I am not beautiful
I am not merciful
you don’t need to pity me
you don’t need to look at me
she stared at the lipstick marks
on her coffee-cup
and thought about a song
the waiter handed her the bill
she paid, left and took a pill
he stared at the lipstick marks
on her coffee-cup
and he thought about a pick-up line
the waiter handed him the bill
he paid, left and realized it was
time to kill
I am not from here
I am not living in fear
I am the one who ends your life
No need to worry, I will be quick
I don’t pity you
Look at me!
I am the last face you’ll ever see
I am your killer
Angel of a human kind (written by CT)
flying high in the sky
with your wings spread wide
feeling free like a bird
in the wind
nothing to put you
in chains
different breeds
are flying with you
the higher you fly
the lighter you feel
your mind escapes
your body
for the first time in a long, long time you feel real inner peace
you wish to never go back
never put your feet
back on the ground
and you stay
you fly with your wings spread wide
peaceful and serene
Tired or mid-life-crisis (written by CT)
I am so tired of all of this
and I am scared to become someone I don’t want to be
I am so tired to pretend to be happy
wear a mask all the time.
You are strong they say
but I’m not and I know it.
I am not perfect
and I don’t want to be
I am so tired to be who I am
but I can’t muster the strength to change
I changed so much already
why can’t I just get happy?
Is it to late to get a life
I want to break out
leave all this behind
I feel trapped
suffocating
when everybody tells me how lucky I am
I can’t see it
maybe I’m too selfish
I feel so old and tired inside
outside I am young and keeping up walls and masks
That woman staring at me through the mirror – that’s not me
I want to kick and scream
but it wouldn’t change a thing anyway
I am tired of my moods and of my low self-esteem
I know my flaws, I know them very-well
it should be a perfect day to make dreams come true
but now it is too late
I am caged and I can’t fly
real life is too interfering
there are to much responsibilities
I need someone to kiss me all good
and today’s a day I miss my old life
I miss the woman that I could be
hiding behind my wall
cowering in the far corner of my mind
not daring to take a quick look at reality
I’m falling back into my old patterns
not speaking, just swallowing
I know where this all will lead
when does it stop??
I am too tired to think
too tired to write
not tired enough to sleep
I know the fault lies with me
maybe it’s just an early mid-life-crisis?!
me by CT
and as the thin silver metal blade of the knife slowly cuts into my pale skin to release drops of red blood
I am reminded, that
only I can make myself suffer
only I can feel my feelings
only I can think my thoughts
only I can fear my fears
only I can cry my tears
the crimson red liquid finds it’s way to freedom through the thin cut line
I breathe
I relax
only I can hurt myself
only I can bleed my blood
why?
why do others make me suffer?
why do others make me feel this way?
why do others make me think those thoughts?
why do others make me cry those tears?
guilt makes me hurt myself
guilt makes me bleed
and I realize, this is my life to live
this is… ME!
Little girl (by CT for ILL?)
Little girl felt so alone
like a hidden stone
nobody to hold her tight
noody to stand up for her rights
cry, cry little girl
there’s always a place to hide
try, try little girl
there’s always a place to hide
little girl had ups and downs
sometimes felt like a circus clown
little girl wished herself into paradise
hoped that somebody would recognize
this little girl was worth to be loved
cry, cry little girl
there’s always a place to hide
try, try little girl
there’s always a place to hide
come out my little girl
and shine like a star
right here by my side (by CT)
shots in the air
panic strikes
blood streams out of wounds
tears fall from eyes
green eyes meet brown eyes
yours meet mine
hand touches an arm
your hand, my arm
You are here
at last I meet you
the man of my dreams
I don’t know if you’re real or not
but you feel good on me
misery and sorrow all around us
I forget it all,
I don’t care anymore
you are right here, beside me
I feel safe
the sky starts to cry
soaking us through and through
but I can’t care
I can’t move
you’re voice is soothing
I can’t let you go, you say
my eyes are heavy with sleep
I am tired
you have to let me go, I whisper
breathing ecomes harder
you’re still right beside me
your hands are on my shoulders
and I hear you begging and crying
I smile
you look beautiful
I feel serene
you look sad
I have to find my way back home
tears stream down your face
I feel loved
I feel
and I’m gone
my body and soul part
you’re right beside me
I can see you holding my body
but I can’t feel you
I see blood on your hands
it’s mine, or so it appears
I see you falling
and you lay down beside me
I see life slipping out of your body
we are standing next to each other
you are right here with me
together at last
forgetting the past
and as we watch the chaos beneath us
you take my hand
your touch feels heavenly
you are mine, I am yours in eternity
run baby, run written (by CT for ILL?)
look, what have you done?
what have you become?
another place
another face
is that all you want?
my baby run, baby run
somebody else is taking control
he is destroying you
another place
another face
is that all you can get?
my baby run, baby run
don’t look back now
the past is long gone anyway
you’re captivated in a new web
all this without a claim
another place
another face
is it your only choice?
my baby run, baby run
there’s nothing left to lose
so baby run, my baby run.
These Feelings (written by CT for ILL?)
When I walk into a crowed room
no one can see me
When I talk to unknown people
no one can hear me
Screaming and crying in my own litte world
can’t take this pain anymore
No one, cares about these feelings
No one, cares about my feelings
I try my best to stay strong
but I ain’t easy
With these wounds on my soul
why can’t you see that I need you?!
reflections of an unquiet mind 