One of the hardest things in life is figuring out where you really stand with someone. You think you know, you want to believe the things they say—“You’re the only one who truly understands me,” “You fill the holes in my heart.” And for a while, those words feel like everything. You let them sink in, make you feel important. But when the actions don’t match, it’s like something cracks. The words start to echo in your head, empty. You keep replaying them, wondering why they don’t line up with how things actually are. It’s frustrating, maddening even. How can someone say you mean everything but act like you’re nothing?
It’s not just about the words, though. It’s about the silence that follows. You hear, “I love you very much,” or “I wouldn’t be here without you,” and you hold on to it like it’s real, like it means something. But then there’s this distance, this disconnect that just sits there between you. And the worst part? No one in their life knows about you. That one cuts deep, doesn’t it? How can you be so vital, so necessary, and still be invisible? It makes no sense, and yet, there it is. You feel like you’re living in the shadows of someone else’s life, hanging onto words that don’t lead to anything solid.
You want to believe them, though. We all do. You tell yourself maybe their actions will catch up, maybe they’ll start showing you how much you mean to them. But hope—it’s fragile. It thins out over time, doesn’t it? You keep holding on, waiting for something to change, but the thread you’re gripping is barely there anymore. It’s all in your head, this story you’ve built around their promises, and when you start to see it unravel, it hurts. The disappointment hits like a punch in the gut, but you knew. You’ve always known.
And then you realize: you’re not as important as you thought. Their words—those sweet, comforting words—they start to sour. You start to see them for what they are: a way to keep you close without actually letting you in. They say they care, but their actions scream the opposite. You’re on the outside, always on the outside, while they live their life and keep you hidden. They say you’re their light, but somehow, you’re always in the dark, aren’t you?
It’s hard to accept, that maybe you’re holding on to nothing. That maybe those words you’ve been clinging to are just that—words. They feel like chains after a while, keeping you tied to a person who’s not willing to give you what you deserve. You start to question everything. How long are you supposed to wait? How long are you supposed to keep believing that one day they’ll show up for you the way they say they will?
We all want to matter. We want to believe we’re special, that we hold a place in someone’s life. But at some point, you have to stop lying to yourself. You have to see the difference between what they’re saying and what they’re actually doing. You hear, “You’ve been my light for years,” but if they still keep you in the shadows, how much weight do those words really carry? You can’t live on promises forever. You can’t keep waiting for actions that never come.
But it’s hard, isn’t it? Letting go of that hope. It’s terrifying. It feels like walking away from everything you thought was true, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe you have to walk away. Maybe you have to stop waiting for someone to make you a priority when all they’ve done is keep you in the background. Because you deserve more than this—more than empty words, more than being someone’s secret.
At some point, you have to accept that actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t matter what they say if they’re not willing to show it. And if they’re telling you, “No one in my life knows about you,” that’s the truth right there, staring you in the face. You’ve been kept on the sidelines long enough. You’ve given enough. It’s time to let go. Let go of the hope that they’ll change, that they’ll start showing up for you. It’s time to make room for people who don’t just tell you that you matter but show you, every day, in every way.
Because you deserve that. You deserve to be seen, not just hidden in the corners of someone’s life. You deserve to be with people who let you in, who don’t just throw you crumbs of affection and expect you to live on that. If they can’t do that, if they’re not willing to let you be part of their life in the light, then it’s time to walk away. You’ve waited long enough. It’s time to let go of their words and finally start listening to the truth their actions have been telling you all along.
reflections of an unquiet mind 