The older I get, the less my ADD traits can be hidden or glossed over. I am a 41 year old woman who can sit still and whose impatience is growing every day. I have trouble following directions and orders which I often gloss over. I mean, it is a loveable quirk that I cannot follow any recipes. I am forgetting names and words (something I never did before). I am more organized and I need things to be more structured. I keep zoning out during conversations oh look a butterfly and that cloud is shaped like a penis. I remember details about songs and musicians and actors and films that really don’t matter but I need to share them or I will explode or implode. I impulsively buy stuff online (mostly for work or music related) and forget that I did. I interrupt people during conversations, not because I am rude but in my mind it is to show that I care and can relate. I have mood swings from being extremely irritated to being hyper.

I know all of these symptoms. I experience them daily and all the time (and many more). I’ve been diagnosed in 2021 and I have been fighting this my whole life. And you know what? Fuck it! I am not medicated and I won’t take any medicine for or against it.

I am entering premenopause (sorry if that is too much information) and everything will be turned upside down again. Things will be even more unpredictable. For someone who likes to be in control, this is scary shit. It scares me shitless. Yeah… Oh look… In my mind, this looks special and nice.