you’re still the one 14/19

The following Sunday, we had lunch with Cameron and Scott. To my surprise Gus was there too. The men competed for Ava’s attention and in a matter of minutes, they were wrapped around her little fingers.

I stood against the doorjamb and laughed about the silly grimaces these grown-ups made only to hear a baby laugh.

Cameron joined me and watched Scott for a moment.

“Would you help me with something in the kitchen?” he asked and I just nodded. I knew that Ava was in good hands and followed Cameron without any hesitation.

Cameron leaned against a counter and scrutinized me for a moment. Then he smiled. His entire face lit up. He looked a lot like an older version of Cody. Needless to say, he was hot. Not as hot as Cody though.

“I said it before but I have to say it again, welcome back to the family, Noel.” I blushed. I liked Cameron a lot and his approval meant a lot too. He was still some kind of fatherly figure for me.

“I don’t know how to say it, but erm – I uhm, I met your mother the other day. She asked about you.” Cameron looked at the floor. I was shocked. Where did he meet my mom and why had she asked him about me?

“I was taken off guard and I didn’t recognize her at first. I told her about Ava and Cody. I was so proud.” Cameron was dropping one bomb after the other on me. Seeing her, talking to her and now telling her about her grandchild too. I needed to sit down. My heart was racing and my knees were giving in. There were so many thoughts in my mind, but they didn’t make any sense.

“She wasn’t nice. Not at all.” Cameron took my hand and made me face him. The smile from mere moments ago was gone. Concern was written all over his face now.

“She said really dreadful things and I am glad that you didn’t have to hear them. I know that family and having roots is important to you. It is to me too. But remember, we are your family now and if you ever wondered if you should have visited your parents, this is your answer.” I couldn’t hold back the tears. I missed my mom and the woman she had been before I came out to her. There had been so many days that I had pushed Ava in her stroller past my old home, but I had never dared to stop and ring the bell and now that Cameron told me about his run-in with her, I was glad I hadn’t. Cameron knelt next to me and pulled me in his arms. I was a grown man, but I cried like a baby. Cameron let me cry. He made soothing noises, but the way he held me, held no urgency for me to stop.

“What happened in here?” Cody pushed his brother away and took his place. Cameron recounted everything he had told me. Even with a couple more details. The longer Cameron spoke, the tighter Cody’s grip became. I didn’t see his face and maybe that was for the best. He wasn’t good at hiding his emotions.

“Dry your tears, they aren’t worth it.” Cody kissed my cheek. “I know you love your parents, but if they can’t love you and your child, then they aren’t worthy of your love. I know you would never shun Ava that way. We are your family, Noel. We have been for many years.” In the meantime Scott and Gus, who was carrying Ava, stood in the doorway too. Cody looked at the men and then he looked at me.

“I didn’t want to do this like this. Not with those sad tears on your cheeks.” He fumbled in his pocket and I expected him to pull out a tissue. But it wasn’t. It was a thin shiny loop. On second glance I saw that it wasn’t just a loop, it was a ring. I looked at Scott who smiled brightly and at Gus, who had tears in his eyes and bounced up and down with Ava in his arms.

“Marry me.” Cody said. I wanted to say yes, but all I could manage was a sob. I nodded my head frantically. I kissed him on his mouth and when he lost balance and fell on his ass, I followed him to the floor. I was not ready to let go just yet. Cameron whistled, which startled Ava and made her cry. Gus glared at him and I pushed myself up. I straddled Cody’s thighs and turned to Ava. She reached out to me and I sat with her on the floor, with Cody. Gus’ arms looked empty without her and he fidgeted with his hands. Adorable.

“Your daddy is going to marry.” She looked at me with her big blue eyes and ran her little hand through my beard.

“It’s official. We are family now.” Cameron hollered. “There has to be a bottle of bubbly somewhere in the fridge.” Gus took Ava away again and Cody helped me up. We stood toe to toe. My hands moved to his neck. One of his hands was in my hair, the other was on my ass, squeezing. I yelped. He grinned. I kissed him again. Tenderly this time. Promising a private celebration later.

“First the move, then the wedding.” He whispered in my ear. I kissed his neck. I loved to kiss his soft skin there. I inhaled. I loved his smell too.

“I lo -“ Cameron plopped the bottle of Prosecco. Surprisingly Ava giggled this time and I laughed with her. Scott raised his glass “To family. Official or not, we are family.” And he was right. These people were my family now. I took Ava from Gus. I needed her. I admit, sometimes I used her as an emotional shield, when everything around me seemed to threaten to overwhelm me. Kissing her head, I watched Cameron and Scott argue if Italian or Chinese was the better choice for our lunch. By now, I didn’t care anymore. After the many events that morning I was just starving.