I am not unbreakable, I am breaking right now

Quote from a song in a TV show I saw tonight (Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life)

Beautiful quote, painful, but beautiful

Okay, so here is a truth I should not be sharing: I did not have food all day, but I had a bottle of wine tonight. I am tipsy/drunk. And I am emotional. There are several reasons, but mainly it must be because I stopped taking my meds a while ago and I am beginning to feel that. But… That does not mean things are bad.

I Love my job. Love it and even though I have only been there since mid-September, I am taking all kinds of responsibilities and being praised all the time by parents, co-workers and bosses. And it feels so very nice. I mean, I am taking work seriously, always have… But here it means something. Like – stupid stuff, but knowing the names of all 208 kids after three months while people working there for years don’t have them down, recognizing the right parent for the right kid, and remembering the schedules of the kids. Being able to accommodate changes in schedules and taking responsibilities in school comitees. Yeah, I love it all. You know, since I am working at the same place I did when I was at the nursery from 2017-2021 (both places; now and then) my old colleagues keep asking me to come back to work with the babies and leave the school kids. But I don’t want to and I can’t, because as I said, I love it there right now and the responsibilities is something I take seriously. Also, I am not sure if it is my age or if I appear approachable, but new employees (5 were hired after me) tend to ask me to learn about the job and the how’s and why’s. Yeah, that’s nice too. Bosses give me the info because they know I implement and remember it… Aw… I am rambling… But, work now feels successful ❤️

Family does too. Friendships, not so much… I feel used. But it does not matter in the end. It is all in my head

Um… I better log off and go to bed – until tomorrow, brave ones 😘