scared to go to sleep

I am scared to go to sleep, because where once pictures of you lulled me into sleep, I see a stranger with a gun.

The gun is put against my head and the stranger either says “Bang! You’re dead!” and laughs sardonically or I tell him “Kill me already!”

I am scared to go to sleep, because where once I felt like being hugged by you, I see that stranger with his gun.

Every night, it’s the last thing I can remember and as much as I want you to be first and last and always on my mind, it never happens anymore.

I am scared to go to sleep…