Tag: relationships

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the bittersweet paradox

The capacity to feel deeply, to hurt deeply, is what allows us to also love deeply, to find joy in the midst of sorrow, and to discover the profound meaning that lies at the heart of being human.This emotional depth is both a blessing and a curse – the price we pay for being able to engage with the world and with each other on such a visceral, meaningful level. When we open ourselves up to the full spectrum of human emotions, we make ourselves vulnerable. We risk being hurt, devastated, consumed by anguish.

Yet, it is precisely this willingness to be vulnerable that enables us to form the deepest, most nourishing bonds. When we hurt deeply, it demonstrates our ability to invest ourselves completely in relationships and experiences. The pain of heartbreak is the flip side of our capacity to love passionately.

And it is this depth of feeling – our range from ecstasy to agony – that allows us to find profound beauty and meaning amidst the sorrow. In the darkest of times, we can still uncover moments of transcendent joy, profound gratitude, and abiding hope. Our emotional complexity is what makes us fully, viscerally alive.

This is the bittersweet paradox at the heart of the human experience. The very qualities that leave us susceptible to suffering – our sensitivity, our capacity for attachment, our willingness to be emotionally raw – are the same qualities that enable us to engage with the world in the most meaningful way.

To feel deeply is to hurt deeply. But it is also to love deeply, to find exquisite pockets of light in the darkness, and to discover the profound significance that lies at the core of being human. It is the price we pay for being fully, gloriously alive.

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dedicated to my best friend

My friend, I saw the tears in your eyes,
A storm of sorrow, a clouded skies.
Your pain, I felt, your hurt, I shared,
For in this world, our hearts are paired.

Though the road ahead may seem so dark,
Know that I’m here, a guiding spark.
My hand to hold, my heart to lend,
For I am more than just a friend.

The burdens you bear, I wish to ease,
The worries that plague, I hope to please.
Let me be the light that guides your way,
Through the shadows, to a brighter day.

When the world feels cold and unyielding,
And your soul, it seems, is slowly yielding,
Remember, my dear, I’m standing near,
To offer comfort, to dry each tear.

Together, we’ll face the storms that come,
And find the strength to overcome.
For in this life, we’re not alone,
Our bond, a fortress, a guiding stone.

So let me be the one to hold you tight,
To be your shelter in the night.
I’ll be the anchor to your drifting heart,
A constant presence, never to part.

My friend, I know the pain you bear,
But know that I will always care.
I’ll be the shoulder you can lean upon,
The light that shines when all seems gone.

So dry your eyes, my dearest friend,
For I am here, until the end.
Through thick and thin, I’ll be your guide,
For in this world, we’ll walk side by side.

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i have trust issues. I don’t confide in people and I very rarely ask for help. I don’t open up easily. And I don’t take friendships lightly because it is hard for me to make friends. It has always been, but after two friends abandoned me for being too much me, too eccentric and maybe too selfish too, it became even harder. I never regret that these people were my best friends at one time and I called them so. Because it was right at the time. Nowadays both these women are strangers. Both these women kind of broke up with me. Both these women wanted me for themselves. I was not even my own at that time, I couldn’t share anything at all. Some days I would love to know how they are and what they are doing in life. I have to actively keep myself for getting in touch for the wrong reasons. (Which is curiosity more than the want or need to rekindle the old friendships). I drifted off from what I initially wanted to say in just a few sentences. I have acquaintances, I know how to do small-talk and banter. I can be charming and flirty, with men and women alike. But I have very few friends. The above poem was written for my best friend who is having a hard time right now. I don’t have much to offer, but I have my words. I offer them freely to my friends. My friends, like me, becomes silent and quiet when unwell. But I am always there and make it known too. I love you my friend and will always be at your side. Come what may.

by the way, I sold the first copy of Fire & Rain yesterday, through this site. On desktop, you can find the purchase button on your right. On tablet or phone, you need to scroll all the way down to find it.

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i remember

i remember it well, the first time that I saw you. You were walking toward me, not an ounce of insecurities were showing. I was a bundle of nerves watching you as you approached me. I immediately noticed that we couldn’t be any more different, you with your penguin scarf and me in my floor-length leather coat. As I stood there, trying to maintain a composed exterior, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Your confident stride contrasted so starkly with my own jittery demeanor that I couldn’t help but feel intrigued by the enigma that was you. The way your green eyes sparkled with curiosity, and the contrast of our attire, seemed to encapsulate the very essence of our divergence in that moment. Though our outward appearance may have painted us as polar opposites, the magnetic pull between us was undeniable, drawing me in with a force I couldn’t resist.

The enduring nature of our commitment to each other has been a source of great joy and strength for us. Over the course of 24 years, we have overcome numerous challenges and have remained steadfast in our dedication to each other. It is truly remarkable to consider the journey we have shared, from the early days of our marriage to now, where we find ourselves happily situated with our beloved children. The passage of time has only served to deepen our bond, and we have defied any expectations by growing stronger as a couple. Amidst witnessing the ebb and flow of relationships around us, we have held fast to our love, building a life and a future together that fills us with immense pride and gratitude.

The journey of life is indeed filled with ups and downs, moments of joy and challenges. It is during these trials that our resilience and persistence come to the forefront, shaping our character and strengthening our resolve. Navigating through mood swings and inner demons can be a taxing experience, but as individuals, we possess the capability to overcome these obstacles with unwavering determination. Finding the ability to laugh amidst difficulties and to push through moments of friction is a testament to our inner strength and adaptability. Embracing these contrasting experiences ultimately leads to personal growth and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

The story of how we met is one of those rare, serendipitous moments that seem straight out of a romantic movie. It was the year 2000, and I was just a month away from turning 17 when we had our blind date. I can recall the details as if it were yesterday. It was a crisp Monday morning, and I stood at the bus stop with my hair still damp from the shower. As I gazed up at the sky, I was greeted by the breathtaking sight of a shooting star streaking across the heavens. To this day, I am convinced that it was the celestial spectacle that graced the early hours of January 17th.

In that moment, I made a wish – a wish so pure and profound that it almost felt like a prayer. I wished that I would meet the man who would one day become my husband that very night. And incredibly, against all odds, that wish came true. It’s a surreal and almost magical experience that has stayed with me all these years.

I’ll confess that before that fateful night, I held little faith in the institution of marriage. Growing up in an environment where positive examples of married life were scarce, I was skeptical about the concept of lifelong commitment. Even now, to some extent, I still grapple with the idea of monogamy. Perhaps it’s a lingering effect of my youth, an insatiable yearning for a love so potent that it can never be extinguished or fully satisfied.

But while I am still longing for a deeper connection, I also know when I look at you, or when I put my head in your lap at night that we were meant to be in each other’s lives. Where else could I be myself? Who else would or could love me like you do? Who else could and would put up with my recent moodswings? Who else would or could make me laugh like you do?

the answer is: no one. No one. Because you and me, that’s what makes us us. That’s what makes this bond unique and strong and unbreakable. Are we passionless? Maybe to the outside world we are. Then again, showing our connection, whispering between us, long eye contact, laughter and light ribbing, that’s who we are. We love each other. You see, our love transcends the boundaries of ordinary affection. It’s a deeply rooted connection that intertwines our souls and brings out the best in each other. The world may not understand the depth of our bond, but in each gesture and shared moment, the strength of our love shines through. It’s in the subtle glances, the shared jokes, and the unspoken understanding that we find the purest expression of our love. And in this unique language of love, we are fluent, speaking volumes without uttering a word. This is the essence of us, an extraordinary love that defies expectations and flourishes in the quiet moments, where our hearts beat as one. This is the true beauty of our connection, a love that resonates beyond the ordinary, creating a symphony of emotion that only you and I can compose together.

We are perfect in our imperfections. I love you.

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love letter to my husband – 916 words – reading time: 5 minutes