We ran from each other until there was nowhere else to run. We hid from each other until every cover was exhausted. We fell deeply in lust until emotions took over. We tried to be apart too many times but we always ceased to function properly.
Because without your presence, something is missing in my soul. And without my presence, something is missing in your soul.
We ran in different directions until we stood toe to toe. One look, one shared breath, and an explosion of emotions engulfed us in our own infinite love story. Our abject loneliness vanished for we complete each other's lost souls.
There is a paradise in your eyes And the best part is: You invited me in. And now I am drowning In your words And floating on your skin.
There is a recognition in your eyes And your love will be my demise But I refuse to overanalyse. I put my trust in your fearless soul And follow you down every dark hole We are stardust; together, we are whole.
There is home in your eyes And the best part is: I can see myself within. And now I feel safe In your arms And with my head under your chin.
(One from my drafts – I am not sure if I shared it before or not)
I love every version of you. The one pushing me away. The one begging me to stay. I love every inch of you. Your hair, your eyes, your belly. I love every thought in your mind. The sadness, the lightness, the eccentricities. I love everything about you. And some days, I believe you love the same things about me too.
The question that still and always haunts me is: who cares?
That’s what a narcissist once asked me after telling me that they don’t know me. I told them about me (unasked) and they replied:
It doesn’t matter!
It was years ago. Many many years ago, but it broke or activated something inside me.
And with every post, every tweet, every message that is not a reaction to a message, those two questions scream in my mind.
And man, it is a crippling thought. It prevents half of what I write to be seen or shared and it makes me delete many messages or tweets i want to write.
When those messages were sent to me, I was a different person and sometimes I wonder why they still matter years later.
They still matter because I gave and still give them the power to matter, but as much as I am trying, i cannot stop it.
Every time I push the button “publish” I wonder who cares, and in times when I over-post, the question is so much louder.
Depeche Mode – in your room. The clip was shot by the dutch photographer Anton Corbijn, who is one of my favourites (photographers) ever. And the song was a single from the album “songs of faith and devotion” (1993) it’s the first album I ever bought with my own money and I still adore it. I had the choice between “division bell” by Pink Floyd and the above. I decided with my heart and never regretted it. Also, the “division bell” is an awesome album that I bought years later on CD and someone also bought it for me on LP… It made its way from a record store in Wales to my doorstep in Luxembourg in 2021. 🙂