Sometimes, people need to remember who is in their corner in times of need. Most often, it is not the people who claimed to be, it is not the people who said they were your friends. And it is definitely not the people you want to be there.
Don’t push those away who support you with everything in their might. Don’t push those away who offer support, understanding, time too.
Because as hard as they are trying to show you that they care and that you matter, they grow tired too. And then, the thing you feared most – being abandoned and lonely will finally happen. That one person who accepted you with all your flaws and knows every horrible detail about you, they will grow silent and quiet. And one day, they will be gone.
I promise, that realisation will hurt and maybe destroy every small success you had in your healing.
Be careful who you push away and cherish those who are there when your life is imploding.
When I sense that people are agitated and anxious, I remind them to breathe and to unclench their jaws. Some look at me as if I am stupid for even suggesting it.
We all know how to breathe; we are doing it all the time, but when we are in distress, our breathing gets shallow, and our body suggests we need more air to fill our lungs. We feel like suffocating during panic attacks or anxiety attacks. At worst, it ends with hyperventilation and the fear of dying. Remembering to breathe in through the nose and exhale through the mouth, helps to calm down. It gives us something to focus on when everything else is overwhelming.
When we are stressed, angry, nervous… we tend to put our teeth together, grinding our molars – clenching our jaw. Maybe it is to prevent us from saying something stupid, or from screaming. But, our entire body gets rigid like that. Our neck gets tense and our back too. Once again, breathing right becomes problematic because we prevent it physically. And it’s not good for our teeth. Loosening the jaw and the entire face muscles looses tension in our body too. And again, it helps to relax because blood flows easier through the bodies and oxygen levels get better again.
As soon as subjectively perceived perfection is achieved, it is not perfect enough anymore. It is not what we want anymore, and we strive for something else. Something different. More. We need more. Always more. Paradise doesn’t exist as long as we can’t accept it when we see it. True love stays a myth as long as we destroy every meaningful relationship with our need for more.