The question that still and always haunts me is: who cares?
That’s what a narcissist once asked me after telling me that they don’t know me. I told them about me (unasked) and they replied:
It doesn’t matter!
It was years ago. Many many years ago, but it broke or activated something inside me.
And with every post, every tweet, every message that is not a reaction to a message, those two questions scream in my mind.
And man, it is a crippling thought. It prevents half of what I write to be seen or shared and it makes me delete many messages or tweets i want to write.
When those messages were sent to me, I was a different person and sometimes I wonder why they still matter years later.
They still matter because I gave and still give them the power to matter, but as much as I am trying, i cannot stop it.
Every time I push the button “publish” I wonder who cares, and in times when I over-post, the question is so much louder.
Depeche Mode – in your room. The clip was shot by the dutch photographer Anton Corbijn, who is one of my favourites (photographers) ever. And the song was a single from the album “songs of faith and devotion” (1993) it’s the first album I ever bought with my own money and I still adore it. I had the choice between “division bell” by Pink Floyd and the above. I decided with my heart and never regretted it. Also, the “division bell” is an awesome album that I bought years later on CD and someone also bought it for me on LP… It made its way from a record store in Wales to my doorstep in Luxembourg in 2021. 🙂