Went to bed early, and had a really good sleep. No disruptions, no waking up with a racing heart. I just slept until almost 9 in the morning. Wow. And I was in a good mood when I woke up. A silly mood. Joked and laughed and everything was great.
Nothing happened. I missed a phonecall I didn’t want to miss.
And my mood just plummeted. Down and down.
I found myself in a hole.
I listened to music, lots of it. And was reminded of one of the best live albums ever made.
I really will never quite understand how and why these huge mood swings happen. I didn’t have one like that in a long while.
But, it will pass. It is already better than it was a couple of hours ago. I was just surprised by this, is all.
I quit my job. I did not sign a new contract yet. Times are a bit unsure… But that too will sort itself out. I am sure. Confident even.
I have a best friend who understands me so well that he manages to navigate these mood swings and understands them. He does not make a drama out of it, he calls me out and tells me that he loves me. And I love him for that. Platonically, from both sides.
I am looking at two weeks off work… Hopefully time enough to land a new job – there are two that are mine (90%). But things can go wrong. If they do… Then I totally fucked up.
Fucking hell… I’m going to have a glass of wine (or three) and watch some TV.
Remember that there are people who love you and be kind to yourself when explosions of emotions swallow you.