39 for 39

  1. It’s my 39th birthday today
  2. My horoscope said plenty of good things today
  3. And yet, I am grumpy, tense, irritated
  4. The first birthday wishes came yesterday. They cannot wish today, for personal reasons
  5. I was sent out of the kitchen because my daughter (13) is about to make a cake
  6. I don’t really like cake – or anything sweet
  7. I like long baths though
  8. With bubbles
  9. I also like music
  10. I wanted to share a Spotify playlist with 39 songs, but that’s quite hard.
  11. I will put the link to my daily playlist up with this post. Be prepared for close to 49 hours of music (!) (I deleted 4 hours of music today!)
  12. I don’t believe in coincidence
  13. But i kept thinking about my former best friend these last days
  14. And then I saw an opening at a place where she used to work
  15. I will not get in touch
  16. I am not expecting any birthday wishes from my older sister or my mom
  17. I used to write many lists like this, with facts about me
  18. That’s why I am trying to keep it vague
  19. Everything was said at least once before
  20. Or as a good friend said: nothing is new under this sun
  21. The sun is not shining today
  22. I ordered myself a piece of art from an American painter. Lee Zimmerman. I hoped it would arrive today. But – nope.
  23. I was 15 when my mom turned 39
  24. When I was 15, I was in a relationship with an older guy (he was 23).
  25. I caught him cheating with another man. I broke up with him because he lied and denied everything, not because of his bisexuality
  26. In hindsight, I experienced quite a lot already
  27. What more is there to come?
  28. I am longing to see live music again
  29. And to feel loved
  30. But, I am overthinking this “love” thing. How can I be loved when I have no idea how romantic love feels like?
  31. I am not a romantic person
  32. I could be considered to be a bit hard or cold or eccentric though
  33. It’s starting to rain
  34. It sounds vain, but I like to read bits of my novel. It’s a good book.
  35. I am not always a miserable person. I like to laugh too
  36. Last year, on this day, my kids and husband had arranged a surprise visit from my dad and younger sister. I loved it. And I cried happy tears. I don’t want this this year. I want to be left alone and be antisocial
  37. Or maybe not?
  38. I am a walking contradiction
  39. I’m thinking about sending out handwritten letters or postcards again. I did that in 2019 and met great people that way. Strangers who enjoyed receiving a handwritten letter. I like receiving postcards and letters too.

39393939393939393939393939393939

Happy Birthday to me. 🎉🍾🥳🎵

6 thoughts on “39 for 39

    1. Ah you know, there are reasons why I don’t like sweets. 1) it’s too sweet 2) i get headaches from chocolates.

      But, never leave a bag of crisps in my periphery. They will vanish faster than you can imagine. Hehe

      Liked by 1 person

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