And when she woke up from the deep slumber she had vanished to, her soul was shaking, and her body was trembling. Something was different. She was different. One look, one touch had unraveled her stoic self, and now she was a stranger. She did not recognize her reflection in the mirror. She did not understand her thoughts. Her voice was new to her ears. An unusual desire to be alive and present struck her like lightning in the sand. And her iridescent self shone brighter for everyone to see. One touch, one kiss, had turned the key and opened her cage. She was not hidden anymore. The veil that had protected her from curious eyes had been lifted. She took a deep breath and smiled. It had taken a while, but today she was grateful for yesterday’s memories.


(Somewhere in the Netherlands, October 2020)

Friday Song

Andrew Cushin – where’s my family gone?

Andrew Cushin is a young British musician. The above song was produced by Noel Gallagher, hence the undeniable Oasis sound – even more audible in the Spotify link (studio version)

I discovered Andrew Cushin on Gavin Simpson’s podcast.

And ever since I heard this song 7 months ago, I listen to it often. I really like it a lot.



I am weak, but I can’t let you go with a sad song in your eyes. I am selfish, but I refuse to let you slip out of my life. I am ready to beg you to love me, but that is not the issue. You love me enough. I cannot say goodbye to you because I cannot breathe when you are not in my life. And the tears that leave dark dots on my clothes, they mock me. Wasn’t it me who said it is okay either way? Please stay! Don’t go away! But you have to, and I miss you forever and a day. Kiss me just one more time so that I remember how to feel alive.

This is how it is shared on IG (picture taken by myself, of course)

Dancing in the rain

Leaves dancing in the rain
Sun licking the morning dew;
Reflections in the window pane
Grey skies turning blue,

Behind a concealing mask
Feelings are an uncomfortable mess,
To understand is an unbearable task
And it’s easier to leave than to stay, I guess.

Toxic thoughts and actions;
Driving so-called friends away
Understanding their reactions
But missing them forever and a day.

More light in the dark
More tears in an ocean
Another life’s mark
Overcome by emotion.

A head full of spinning thoughts
Cowering in the corner of my mind
To unfurl their knots.
Once again, I am left behind.

A soap bubble of for never
Floating up to the clouds
A memory to stay forever
Hidden from the crowds.

I am the shadow in my light
I am the hope in my despair
But after my lastest sleepless night I can say that
I am still there.

(May 2017)

Saturday Song

Guns n’ Roses – sweet child o mine

This song can be found on the 1987 released album “Appetite for Destruction”. My favourite songs on this record are “Think about you” and “Rocket Queen”.

I had a big crush on Izzy Stradlin when I discovered music. Sadly, by that time, the best moments of this band were almost over and the band members battling their egos and various addictions didn’t help matters either. Anyway, while most girls had posters of Axl Rose, I had one of Izzy.

I came across the video of “Sweet Child o Mine” on an MTV 80s channel and… I enjoyed it. I thought, I’d share. And honestly, Axl Rose was something to look at with his tight pants and moves. Lol… That was shallow, but as always, honest.

hold on tight

Little by little the moon shines brighter in her eyes
Even though the sun lives as a shadow by her side
She cannot outrun the dreams that wake her up at night
But she is not alone, she has someone to hold her tight.


I want to strip myself bare of every thought and every dream
Until I feel the kiss of the crisp winter’s breath.
Could I slip out of my skin and into your mind?
The maelstrom of unspoken words turns into our lost story.

Wednesday Music

Hammock- cruel sparks

From the album “the longest year, 2011”.

Hammock are an American duo from Nashville, Tennessee. Their genre is a mix of shoe-gazing, ambient, electronic, and neo-classical. That’s difficult for: their music is relaxing and meditation is easy with them on the turntables.

The album “the longest year” was re-released for its 10th anniversary. It was released on colourful vinyl and I was amongst the lucky ones to grab a unique piece for myself.

Look at those colours!

The nebula edition is handmade which makes every copy a unique and beautiful piece.

Anyway… I had a quiet day. I am tired, under the weather, and just a little empty while overflowing. As you probably noticed, I deleted or drafted many of my recent posts and also decided to go quieter again. I mean… I take up space and time, and you could spend that time learning something, helping someone, reading something that makes you laugh…

Be kind and take good care of yourselves.


I dreamed I fell into a well and all that was left of me was a deep longing sigh

A puddle of tears and wilted flowers covered my pale skin

I covered my eyes and cried.

Every thought was wasted on a caged mind that was never mine

The clock ticked away slowly and I kept forgetting how to swim

And I watched the sunrise.

I woke up, I made it through another night

And the morning light felt like a lover’s kiss.

There is only one way out.

Tuesday Song

I have not done this in a while… Here is a song for you.

Ice in my eyes – chromosome

Ice in my eyes is a Luxembourgish band, the above song was released in June 2021.