Real talk

This October is the best and worst month in a while.

How so? Why the best? Why the worst?

The worst because I am in constant pain – apart from one week between 15th and 21th.

Corona… Numbers are up up up, and for the first time since this pandemic started people I know are infected/affected.

Self-doubt that will lead to self-sabotage and self-harm if I don’t find a way to stop it.

The best because things are happening in my life right now. And I am in charge. So maybe this month is life-changing on every level.

There is lots of music, a little love, friendship, and reasons to believe in my skills and talents.

I spent an incredible weekend abroad. And I am torn between wanting/needing a repeat and letting it fade out for friendship’s sake.

Yesterday was my first day at work after a bit more than 3 weeks away. Parents were thinking of me… I had my locker filled with chocolates and a unique mug made for me.

This is how I am seen at work. Always happy and singing. 🙂

So, anyway… I feel a bit fragile, I must say. But also confident that everything happens for a reason, even if I don’t understand or see the big picture.

7 Replies to “Real talk”

  1. Life is like that – full of conflicting emotions and subconscious self-destructive thoughts that claw their way to the surface every now and then. I’m terribly anxious because of our upcoming election; I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if our vile President is re-elected. Every day, I tell myself I’m going to stop blogging and quit social media, both of which I will do if our vile President is re-elected.
    I love Nothing But Thieves and this song.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The whole world is looking at those elections. I really hope Biden makes it, but something tells me Trump will have a second term. Just look at the rallies and the stupidity of people and how far they go to justify all the wrong and injustices. It riles me up, and it must be so much worse for you.

      Liked by 1 person

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