On the other side of the light
Sits a woman staring at me – blind.
I cannot see the words she screams
I am too busy coming undone – as it seems.
I must go, I must leave
“You are a liar, a thief.”
The sky is filled with diamond tears
The floor is laid out with age-old fears.
I cannot run,
I need a song.
The mirror hides my true face
Leaving me worried that my reflection fades.
And the clouds are on fire,
My thoughts are tired.
I want to drown in a serenity wall
Being at peace – is all.
But here is me, looking at the light
I turn away, too much night, not a single fight.
The wind is howling, kissing my naked skin
If I could, I would fly on its wings.
But I am trapped in my golden life
Until the day comes and my soul died.
***
This one was written after an unexpected anxiety attack a couple of days ago. (are they ever expected?!) I don’t get them often anymore, and it left me scared and agitated for too long. I am struggling. With everything. With who I am, but also with the quality of my writing. I can’t imagine going back to work in 5 weeks. I am too afraid to see people. I am good at home…