It has been a while, hasn’t it? Early September, I believe, but I am not sure. Somehow you kept fading from my mind. I didn’t forget about you, but you lost importance. Until last night. I slept badly these last nights, but I could never remember my dreams. I remember last night’s dream quite well. It was so vivid.
We met somewhere coincidentally. You had a new partner with you, and I did too. And somehow you were very angry with me, but I hadn’t done anything wrong. You see, I had always kept my promises, but somehow something got out, and your secret was out. Your secret of dating many women or girls like me.
It doesn’t make much sense, but the feeling of you being angry with me persistent and expanded in my chest throughout today. It made me miss you, and it made me want to reach out to you.
There was a time when you were clear about not wanting me to get in touch first. And I respected that. In September, you told me to get in touch “whenever”. And I want to – so much, but I can’t, because I have Handsome now. And he is vulnerable and sensitive and sweet, and he would not survive me being in touch with you again. But if you made the first move… Yeah, I know… I am just dreaming.
You were so real in my dream last night. I miss your presence. I don’t miss who you are or what you did or said to me, but I miss knowing that you are around.
And since I am a woman, I keep wondering if you are thinking of me too. I hope you do. I hope you never forgot me.
Currently, you are 47 years old. I am 36. We are acting like kids.
Thank you for all the memories,