So… I am stunned. Truth is for all my insecurities and all my shortcomings and all my (open) struggles with my mind, I am a flirt.

And I am not doing it on purpose. That’s why the realisation hit me hard.

I am not flirting on purpose but if you read the messages I share with people, it could be read as such.

My secret?! I am kind, understanding, forgiving, and sometimes I am funny too. And the most important, I am open and real. I am not hiding my flaws and I am not hiding my qualities and I know them all quite well.

I am just me. (Extra)Ordinary fat little Cathy.

I have been online since 1999. I was 16 at the time. I was a child, really.

Maybe I know how to sell myself the best way? But if that is the truth, why do I feel invisible and lonely so much?

I don’t know how others see me. And I really want to know. I would love to know how others see me and compare notes….

It will never happen.

xx

Cathy

PS: I killed a bottle of Bordeaux all by myself tonight and watched two chick-flics without shedding a tear. Maybe the wine is palpable in this post and I’ll die of embarrassment tomorrow.