I don’t like myself this way

The older I get, the more eccentric I am becoming. Me on vacation at a Centre Parcs… I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about how many unclean people slept in the same bed. I can’t sit on the couch because of the people who sat there before me and what did they do? I have to wash all the dishes and glasses because… Ew! And the shower and toilet… Help!! I was never this bad with my OCD. And I am annoying myself. I cannot make it go away, and it makes everyone around me go crazy. Me too. Thinking about all the people who spent time in that house… It drives tears to my eyes. It makes me nervous. It makes me nauseous. And I cannot fight it. I have to wash my hands all the time. I am unwell, and I don’t know what is happening to me. I just know that it is not good. And I don’t want to take this erratic behaviour home with me.

2 more days… I hate this vacation. It is not relaxing at all…


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