don’t let me die

(just now, I was searching for an older document and was rummaging through boxes that were never unpacked, since I moved for the first time (a little over nine years ago) and I was taken aback, when I found this… it’s powerful and sad and desperate… I didn’t even know, that I had written something like that)


date: 16.03.2004


don’t let me die


I’m not sleeping, I am wide awake

I can feel pain, let’s hope it’s not forsake

I tried in vain to be someone I can not be

I tried to forget the secrets, that I couldn’t keep


Forgive me, save me from myself

take away my knife

save me from myself

be with me tonight


I hurt the people that I love

and I never asked a thing to the One above

but please, don’t turn away from me

I know, in this world, I am nothing but a small flea


forgive me, save me from myself

take away my knife

save me from myself

don’t take away my life


I’d beg, I’d steal, I’d lie

but please, don’t let me die

Weikie – raise our sunken ship

as you know, I constantly buy music and I recently found bandcamp, to be a real pleasure to be in personal touch with the artists. I also, after years of glorification, realized, that musicians are human… what a revelation, huh?!


anyway, today, I had this in my mail



what is that? That is a CD. It was sealed with wax, signed and it is numbered since it a limited press. (do you say it like that in English?) at the bottom, there are rose petals and I can tell you, I never had a CD, that was an experience for every sense 🙂

It was, what made me smile brightly today and I listened to it up and down and from left to right today.

Favorite songs are:

‘raise our sunken ship’

‘I am a tin man’




though, honestly, every song is unique, special and a masterpiece in its own right. I really was positively surprised. (I only knew ‘rope’ and ‘I am a tin man’ before I bought it)

The voice is somewhat unique too, though I read somewhere, that Weikie (why-key) sounds like Tracy Chapman… um sorry… I can’t hear it.

The instruments and the orchestration of the songs is refreshing… I never knew a Banjo could sound good in a non-Western-movie style. Really like it.


and here is the opening song of this album:



oh, and if you ever buy this, be aware, there is a hidden track… but ssh… you haven’t heard that from me…


again something for my collection, that I definitely don’t regret buying and how it was delivered, raised a bar… I only accept personally signed CDs, numbered and with rose petals in the future… just kidding… I wouldn’t buy anything anymore with those expectations…


Thank you Adam ‘Weikie’ Weikert. It is a pleasure listening to you.


❤ Cathy

The quest to find you – my home

With my memories of you

     in my pocket,

I ran out of town

to hide and wait

     for life to happen

A thousand other things happened

     while I was looking for


All I did, was paint the sky

     and getting older every day

And every day was one,

     I had already lived

So, I took my heart, my courage and every memory of you,

     that still filled my chest

and I went on a quest,

     to find you

          my love

and instead of feeling lost,

I finally found you,

     you were always closer than I knew

          I found home

A quote:

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel.

Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them.

That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.”

~Jim Morrison

I like this quote… it’s true and it’s real and it’s what I strive to be for my friends. I have a big heart and you are very welcome to be a part of it. And as my friend, you are also a part of me. It doesn’t matter if I have seen you every day for the last 13 years, or if I only recently met you online… Once I open my heart to let you in, there will be no easy way out. and I will fight for our friendship. I won’t judge and I will always listen, try to understand and give good advice.

This is for old friends and older friends, as well, as for new friends and future friends…


(it’s all about friends 🙂  )

Her name is Calla – running up that hill



have I ever told you how much I love this song? Even more so, when it’s a really good cover, like this one?!

Her name is Calla, was one of the first postrock bands I liked, though I often wonder if they are really postrock? Are they that easy to be labeled? I don’t think so… It’s music to dream, to float, to suffer, to think, to love, to cry… It’s what music should do to you. It should make you feel… It should speak to your heart and it never should matter if anyone you know loves the same music you like.


So, basically, this band is what I’ve been listening to (more intensely) these last few days. I can’t find a single song I don’t like…


Also very worthy of a good listen, are these:

thief (the first song I ever heard from this band while browsing youtube)

condor + river

pour more oil


and you know what appears in the sidebar on youtube when you are looking for songs of Her name is Calla? Our ceasing voice! Even the music world is small 🙂


that said, have a wonderful evening… I’m going to dive further into this beautiful haunting music and dream myself away, until it is finally time to go to bed…

take care


Cathy ❤